Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Memory Game

Remember when we were kids and we used to play the Memory game? You had cards with various images on them which were face down and you turned two over at a time, trying to make a match. It was a great game! I never realized someone might have to play it as an adult in such a way as described below.

I was in meetings all afternoon today. When I returned to my desk I had an instant message from a friend. He posed a very interesting question. Unfortunately, he signed off for the day and went home before my meetings ended so we didn't get to discuss.

He asked:
BH, If you slept with someone over 10 years ago and you can't remember their name, is that wrong?

Seeing as how I hadn't had sex 10 years ago, I don't feel qualified to comment on this topic. However, I know many of my dear readers can relate to his situation. Therefore, I pose it to my readers. What do you think?

This question was brought to you by the letter R and the number 10.

Stuart Smalley

In the midst of my self-pity about the head cold from hell that I'm battling (and losing) right now, I have been trying to remind myself of all the good things I have going in my life. To that end, here's the list:

1. New Zealand. I finally sent in my completed Application for Residency last week. That's right, the FBI finally came through and sent me my identification report (thanks!) and I got all my medical stuff done. I never knew it could take so long to stamp "No record" on my fingerprints and send them back. Yes, I know you're all surprised, but I'm a good girl I am! It's now out of my hands for a few months while they process it. Of course, that means I actually need to start job hunting, but that is a positive thing.

2. I finally bit the bullet and decided to have Wavefront Lasik surgery done. My surgery is scheduled for February 17th. I've wanted to do it for ages, but always wanted to know the long term effects, etc. Extra motivation came from positive thing number 4 below as I don't want to deal with contacts or glasses on the playa. The procedure is actually pretty cool and if you want to read about it you can do so here.

3. Spinning poi. I'm in the middle of taking two classes right now. I took Beginner Moves end of last year which teaches you all the various moves. I'm now taking Beginner Dance which shows you how to string those moves together. I'm also taking Beginner Fire. Last week's class was a safety lecture. This week we will be building our fire poi. Next Wednesday I get to light up for the first time. YEA!!!! I'm so stoked!

4. Burning Man. I finally decided to go this year for the first time ever. I'm pretty excited about. Bought some great fake fur to make a coat and some furry chaps. Plus I'll be spinning fire so will be able to burn at Burning Man! I've met some really great folks through the Burning Man community and can't wait to experience it first hand.

5. Scrummy conned me into taking a Belly Dancing class. It has actually been a lot of fun. Hard work, but fun! It's great to see the progress (however small) that you make week to week.

6. I'm going to Monkey O's play tonight with Scrummy. My first meeting of someone from blogland...other than hashers of course.

7. I have a wonderful little niece who is 14 months old and her mom is pregnant again. She's about 8 weeks along so it's still to early to tell, but hopefully this one will work. (she had a miscarriage a couple months ago)

8. I have anonymous commenters arguing on my blog as to whether I can still give a blowjob while having a head cold which is entertaining as all hell!

9. The Violent Femmes are coming back in town. Since I'm friends with their sound guy I get to see the show for free and hang out with them. Can't wait to see them again!

10. I'm good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me.

This Stuart Smalley moment was brought to you by the letter S and the number 10.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Woe is me

Felt the need to add one more tale of woe to my blog. Yours truly, in addition to being dissed by the guy and having the Pearl Rabbit die, now has a head cold. The lovely sore throat and congestion that creates massive pressure in the ears. Loving life right now. Friday night made it to my Belly Dance class and then went home to bed. Saturday I hardly moved off the couch at all. Yesterday met some friends for dim sum, stopped by the hardware store for some fire poi makings and then washed my car at home. Thought I was going to collapse when I finished. Slept like garbage last night and work is not helping matters. Anyone have some decongestants they care to share?

I promise my next post will be much more positive!

This moment of self-pity was brought to you by the letter C and the number 9.

Eulogy

I regret to inform you of the passing of a dear friend. The faithful Pearl Rabbit has died. It passed away quietly in its home at the age of 3 years. It will be fondly remembered as one so full of life and so willing to give pleasure to another. It is survived by its 3, partially used C batteries. In lieu of flowers, the family requests you send similar models.

Now before any of you helpful souls decide to give me the insightful advice of "Change the batteries" you should know that is not the issue. See, the classic Rabbit Pearl (it is a Japanese invention after all) has the controller as a separate piece from the toy, attached by a cord. Well, I think after years of faithful service the cord has pulled away from the connection in the unit and therefore doesn't work anymore.

Guess it's time to upgrade to the waterproof version.

This eulogy was brought to you by the letter V and the number 3.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Daves I Know

Since we're on the topic of Daves, I figured I could share my annoyance with the rest of y'all. I believe I am officially finished with anyone named Dave. Remember my Auspicious Beginnings and my I'm Such a Girl postings?

Well, last week Monday he and I finally chatted on the phone after playing phone tag. Really good conversation. He had mentioned, "Yeah, I was thinking about it a few days later and thought that you would never look on the coffee table for a note. I was telling myself, Good job Dave. Now she'll never call you." So here's me thinking - That's right, you were thinking about it. Hehehehehe. I'm fricking money. Later in the conversation he said, "So, we should get together and go out. I'm out of town this weekend, but how about next?" He was going to a course down in San Diego and then hanging out with his mom, driving back on Saturday night. I, of course, said that sounded good. He said, "Why don't you call me in a couple days?" I said, "Actually, why don't you call me when you get back in town because you're going to be hanging with the boys and then seeing your mom?" He said, "Great." Damn I'm good! Playing it cool. Etc, etc.

Well, Sunday night I decided to give him a ring to see how his trip went. Just left a voicemail. Keep in mind this was like 6 days later. Money, right? It's now Friday. Friday with no return call.

Could someone please explain male "logic" to me? How can he be the one that says 'Let's go out' and then drops the ball? I just don't get it. Though I'm telling myself he doesn't know what he's missing, the pattern is really getting old!

*sigh*

This moment of frustration was brought to you by the letter F and the number 4.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Kids In the Hall

My life is officially a Kids In The Hall song. You know your life is sad when it becomes a Kids In The Hall song!

Some of you may recall the guy from Ren Faire I had a total crush on about a year ago. We hung out a few times, he borrowed some bookes of mine, I borrowed some DVDs of his, etc. After we fizzled I tried for ages to trade stuff with him. It never ever happened (which is highly annoying). I thought about it last night and decided to call him today.

Got into work around 7:15am. Waited til about 8:30am and called him. I was pleasantly surprised at the warm reception on the other end of the phone. After chatting a bit I said, "Hey, I was cleaning my house the other day and came across your DVDs, which means you still have my books. We should trade." He had no idea what I was talking about. I listed the books and he still had no idea what I was talking about. The conversation went something like this:

David: When did you give these to me?
BH: The first time you came up to my house.
David: I've never been to your house. Are you sure you have the right David?
BH: Dave from Ren Faire?
David: Yes.
BH: Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the right one.
David: David D****? From Faire? Curly dark hair?
BH: SHIT! I have the wrong David.


Ok, so I'm an asshole! Mea culpa. After excusing myself and generally feeling like a jackass, I call the real David I was trying to reach. We chatted a bit and then I did the same routine with trading stuff. He got my address so he could send me them and I got his. You can bet your life I'm not putting them in the mail until I get my stuff! Besides, I still have to copy those DVDs. :-) Anyway, as he was getting his computer to get my address we made small talk.

BH: So, what's new? How's life?
(the real) David: Crazy. Busy. Good.
BH: What have you been up to?
(the real) David: Well, going to be having a baby in June.


(editorial note) Nothing quite like dropping that bomb on someone you fooled around with.

BH: Wow! Congrats! Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
(the real) David: It's a girl.
BH: Very cool. So, you getting married too, or just the kid?
(the real) David: Nah, not yet. Maybe sometime in the future.
BH: Alright, good luck with that.


And then we went on with our business. My God, what is my life turning into? Oh wait, I know...A Kids In The Hall song! "Daves I Know"

Lyrics can be found here if you are interested.

A plea to all future parents out there - please, Please, PLEASE stop naming your kids Dave! The straight women of the world will be eternally grateful.

This moment of assholeness was brought to you by the letter A and the number 2.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Taco Taco (Tex-Mex Endings)

Sunday around 11:30 Panty Free came and knocked on my door. That's what actually woke me up that morning. Guess I was in need of some serious sleep! The asshole trail started at 1pm so time was killed by chatting with Drymple, having a bloody mary, watching some football, etc. Oh, and butt scrabble! How could I forget butt scrabble? Brought a tear to this Iguana Hasher's eye. Too bad I didn't have a camera. Nothing like waking up and watching people getting their butts painted with markers and then having them pose for pictures in front of the hot tub. A few of us finally decided to head over to Jack in the Crack (noticing a theme for the weekend?) for some breakfast. As we walking over we watched the assholes take off. Suckers! We had every intention of doing the 1/2 asshole trail. However, as we were sitting there eating our french fries we watched that lot set off too. Oops!

Spent the afternoon hanging out watching football and chatting with Drymple. That boy is a doll! If you ever get a chance to hang out with him, definitely do. He's got some great stories from when he was living overseas. A group tried to go to a strip club for Stud's and Spotty's birthday. Apparently this place lost their liquor license so it's now BYOB. I opted out since 1. I have boobs of my own and 2. the girls who dance during the day generally aren't that good. It was hilarious watching the group wander off rolling a cooler full of beer though!

Folks finally came back and we had a game of 3man going. At some point we did circle. Some smartass comment of mine ended up causing me to be beer bitch for the circle. That'll teach me! We resumed our game of 3man which as I recall started the rule of having to kiss someone. We were interrupted by dinner, but quickly found ourselves playing 3man again. It was getting pretty sloppy at the end. I think it was summed up best by Royal after we had to kiss again for some rule - "I just slipped you the tongue. Damnit BH, I'm sorry, I'm getting drunk." As if he was the only one? Somewhere in there someone whose name I can't remember brought us a bottle of tequila. So now we're not only playing 3man with beer, tequila joins the lot. Uh oh. Oh wait, and all the freaking Apple Pie shots. Yummy, but evil!

At some point we decide to hit the hot tub. I was scared to be the catalyst again, but I think my short duration in the hot tub stopped that from happening. At some point the naked hash went by pumping Hall & Oats out of a boom box carried by 69 Virgins. That was hilarious! Had a great chat with Scrummy while in there (thanks love!). After she got out, some drunken eejit came over and was talking to me at the prompting of others who shall rename nameless. It started out fine, but then because I was far more sober than the guy (which isn't saying much for the record ), the conversation eventually somehow turned into this whole I'm the asshole because I hold people to a higher standard and should lower myself to the common people's ground, etc etc to the point it was becoming downright rude. I pretty much decided that was my exit cue. At that point Scrummy and Stud came down and they were heading to Jack in the Crack for monster tacos. They said they'd wait for me. Sweet! I was tired of putting up with stupid bullshit. So I went to my room to change. Ran into Panty Free outside my room. We had a nice chat because yours truly was a little drunk and somehow ended up in beer tears because of the whole hot tub incident, being overtired, being drunk, etc. Actually, probably more tequila tears. Damn tequila! Anyway, we all headed out for some monster tacos.

The fates were against us as it was closed. Well, the lobby was closed. The drive thru was open, but they wouldn't take our order. We ended up at 711 of all places. Stud and Panty were eating the hot dogs that had been on the stand all day and were charred right off the stand. That was impressive. I think I ended up with a burrito and we all got some nachos. I think we ran the cheese machine dry. We headed back to the hotel and the couples went their merry way. I stopped back by the hot tub to chat to some folks. Ended up having a great trip down memory lane with Day Old Fish and Wet Spot. We were singing all these old 80s tunes. It was fabulous! Private Eyes, Man-Eater, Smooth Operator, etc. RC you would have been having a field day! A great way to end the night.

Went up to take a hot shower (I learned from the last hot tub mistake) and go to bed. My Friday night visitor showed up and asked if he could crash as his roommate was passed out and the hotel only gives out one key. I said it was fine as long he didn't want to talk and just wanted to go to sleep as I was exhausted. Best laid plans. Talky-talky-talky. They say women can talk? Not so! I finally just stopped responding which then turned into an argument. So ridiculous. So it was about 5:30am again when I got to sleep. Up around 9:30 and started packing up.

A short trail led to Lucy's where we had breakfast. Panty Free and I then hung out with folks at the hotel trying to hydrate until Dinghy took us to the airport again. He played the lovely El Paso song for us and told us about the conversations he'd had with other folks on the way to the airport. Ran into Drymple who was asleep in one of the chairs. After taking a photo of him asleep, we wandered on and got food. Then we came back and fed him and hung out til we had to get on the plane. Made it back to San Jose and hung out a bit at PF's house. Hey, at that point it takes ome mental preparation to drive home. Made it home and after saying hi to my roomie I crashed out.

All in all a good weekend. My skin still has scabs on it from that damn hot tub! It was great meeting new folks and seeing some old friends. For the most part, everyone rocked. Then again, to the few assholes that were there (and you know who you are) - get over yourselves. You're not all that. You were cute until your personality ruined it for you. In the words of a Silicone Valley hasher: "The great thing about the hash is anyone can come. The bad thing about the hash is anyone can come." Would I do Tex-Mex again? Absolutely!

This happy trails moment was brought to you by the letter E and the number 6.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Borderline (Tex-Mex Part 2)

I last left you with the fact that I got to sleep about 5:30 in the morning. About 8:30 that morning I am woken by the sounds of Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl. "WTF is that?!" Oops, that'd be my phone. Scrummy, who I normally love but at that moment wanted to kill, was calling to go get some breakfast. After a few more minutes of snuggling I got my sorry ass up and ventured into the light of day. We headed down to breakfast which consisted of some french toast. Unfortunately neither of us are much of a french toast person so we ended up hitting Jack in the Crack for breakfast. We did end up having a nice chat and learned that I had fallen for the same lines from the same person that Scrummy had the year before. Oh, and this guy still has a girlfriend. Loving it! Luckily in my case all we did was cuddle. Not even a snog. Guys, seriously, do you think we don't talk? Get some new material! Honestly! By the time we got back we only had a little bit of time to change for the run. That meant I didn't have time to shower off all the chlorine and chemicals from my legs.

When they advertise Tex-Mex they tell you the hotel has the largest hot tub. That part is true. What they fail to tell you is that they need to resurface that bastard. You end up with scratches all over your body from sitting in the damn thing. It's like a cheese grater. Let's put this in perspective - you're in a hot tub full of chemicals, the climate is very dry so you have dry skin AND you have scratches all over your body. Not a good combination. My legs were killing me while waiting for the U-haul to come back and take us near the border. What is it with hashes and using U-hauls for transportation? I digress. I borrowed some lotion from sweet hasher and my legs just started burning. I dashed to the room, washed my legs off and found some nice lotion to put on. Ahhhh...much better.

After another thrilling ride in the back of a U-haul (though I must say it was a lot nice than the trip at NC/SC because it wasn't Africa hot) we land near the Greyhound station. A quick chalk-talk and we're off. We crossed the border into Juarez, Mexico. Life in a border town...not too hot. After what seemed an eternity we got to the first beer check. Unfortunately the hashers who had gotten there before us had drank all the beer and the water. We kept going to number 2 which was not far from number 1. Okay, trail is looking up! We walk in and a nice man hands me a freshly opened Corona. I'll take it! Somewhere in here Stud Muffin and Royal Flush purchase some Spider Man outfits. Maybe outfit isn't the right word. Face and head coverings with a cape coming off the back. Those with Panty Free's fly glasses was a stunning combination...kinda.

After a bit we head off again into the wilds of Juarez. What seemed like 5 miles later we came to beer check number 3. This place rocked! We were outside in this huge courtyard. The beers were being kept cold in the fountain, the chips and salsa were flowing and the mariachi band was playing. We should have just gone directly there and wiled away the afternoon! The weather turned colder and we decided to head on again. Not even a block away we were distracted by a sex shop. Word of advice - NEVER go into a sex shop with hashers. I need to take my eyeballs out and scrub them in sand to get rid of those visuals. We eventually kept moving and I swear that border was more elusive than if I had been running from the Mexican police. We stopped for an alocohol purchase, but it was no cheaper than buying it in the States so why bother carrying it? Scrummy and I had to pee so badly we were seeing yellow everywhere. Of course there were no bathrooms. The worst part - the bit leading up to the border is lined with fountains...for blocks...literally. SO wrong. We eventually hit the checkpoint and see a bathroom sign. We go running in to find we have entered Mexican prison land - 3 toilets low to the ground with no stalls. You know what? I don't freaking care! After hovering for an eternity I washed my hands and was on my way.

Circle was in a park not far across the border. I'm sure it was hilarious, but I was pretty done at that point after an 8 mile trail. We eventually piled back into the U-Haul and made the trip back to the hotel. There we got some dinner and had a well earned shower. That night was the biker/leather party. The band rocked! Unfortunately since it was at the hotel, everyone thought they could come and go. There was no reason for people to stay so the turnout was a bit low. We eventually decided to hit King's X bar where you can get drunk for ridiculously cheap amounts. Scrummy, Panty Free, Royal, Butt Darts (?), Ram Pam and I started walking. We got distracted by Monster Tacos at Jack in the Crack. We also ended up learning all about Butt Dart's knowledge of sex toys. There was some cream he wanted us to try that would supposedly bring out our O face, but we declined until a later time. Finally hit the bar where it was nice to drink something other than beer. Several other hashers were in there as well.

The bar was a great time. Spider Man even put in an appearance. That was one of the funniest things I have seen in a LONG time. Apparently his Spidey senses were tingling and he just couldn't resist. It was really the web throwing gestures that put it over the top.

Eventually we wandered back to the hotel. Chatted with people by the hot tub for a bit and then called it a night. It was only 3:30am this time. Wow, sleep! On-On to Sunday.

This was brought to you by Spider Man and the numero uno.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Tex-Mex Beginnings

Well, I'm still trying to recover from the long weekend in El Paso. It is a sure sign you are getting old when staying up two nights until 5:30am and the other until 3:30am causes you to be useless for days on end. Buzz, I think I'm going to have to try that liver cleanse...as soon as I don't have a roommate anymore. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

What my foggy brain can recall:
Thursday night prelube at PF's house with multi-layer jello shots. This girl really knows how to go all out! Getting up at some ungodly hour to make a 6:30am flight. Little Dinghy met us at the airport and took us back to the Mesa Inn. Side note - this man is a rockstar! He spent his entire weekend carting our drunk asses around. Hats off to you Dinghy!

The Mesa Inn is the ultimate hash hotel. At one time this place was amazing! Unfortunately, they haven't really done anything with it since then. As we were checking in, the guy behind the counter said in an apologetic tone, "That will be $82.75." No dear readers, that was not for one night. That was the total for all three nights. And he was apologizing to us as if that was such an exhorbinate rate. As PF said, "Dude, that was dinner last night." We promptly threw our bags in our rooms and went off in search of some lunch. Came across a group playing 3man, but our stomachs won and we headed to Lucy's for some damn fine eats. Came back and had a nice nappy-nap and then a shower. Met some cool folks down by the beer including Royal Flush, Stud Muffin, Rainblow Not So Bright, Face Down and Spread 'Em, C 'Em Cumming, BATT, 69 Virgins, Ass Gagger, etc. Dear old Opie was there as well. Great seeing him again! Especially when he had some nice whiskey for me. I promise mate, next time I'm bringing some for you! After feeding us it was time for the kilt run.

Dressed in our finest Catholic School girl outfits we headed off to a pub. After hanging out there and doing some singing we were off to Bombadiers. This place rocks! However, before we go into the antics there, I think it's important to mention how I got there. There was some definite autohashing going on by folks, but the truck was full by the time I rolled up. I kept walking and came upon a news crew. They started asking questions and so I stopped to chat. Next thing I know the reporter offered to give me a lift up to Bombadiers. Sweet! So I roll into Bombadiers in a Mustang convertible. Really nice Clark. An attempt at circle was made...twice...at Bombadiers. Somehow ended up in the back of a truck back to the Mesa Inn.

The hot tub was apparently calling everyone's name. Here's where the night gets interesting. I always say that I learn so much at hash weekends. Well, this past hash weekend I learned that I am a catalyst. That's right, I am the catalyst to everyone else getting laid in the hot tub. If any of you listened to the podcast #49 Scrum and I did, you'll recall the bit about my friends getting laid and not me. Well, the same holds true in a hot tub ladies and gents. All of a sudden to my right, someone (names have been omitted to protect the not-so-innocent) is eating a girl out. About 10 minutes later they are having sex in the hot tub (someone check in about 9 months from now would you? A new hasher may be born). A bit later another couple to my left starts having sex. Then the folks across from me. Jesus people! I know you're drunk, but that doesn't make you invisible! The rest of us can still see you! Anyway, since everyone was getting a Tex-Mex name, my new Tex-Mex hash name is: Hot Tub Cupid.

Once all the sex stopped, or folks at least decided to take it to a room, I got back in the hot tub. Ended up being in there far too late and eventually realized I was turning into a prune. Managed to drag my ass out and head up to bed. Ended up chatting with someone until about 5:30 in the morning when we finally crashed out. Ouch!

More details on the rest of the weekend later. Apologies to anyone whose name I forgot. You're welcome to those whose name I omitted on purpose.

This was brought to you by the letters H and T and the number 110.

Jesus Saves

Apparently Jesus CAN go hashing! What is the world coming to?

These people really need to get a life.

Can I get an Amen?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Does it suck to be stupid?

I received the below link courtesy of RC this morning. It was a bright spot in an otherwise garbage day. Meetings from 9am straight through. Quite the painful return to the real world.

Anyway, check out this. Go on, follow the link. I'll wait.

You back? Good. Wtf? This guy has got to be on crack. If you are going to permanently mark your body, shouldn't you choose something that's half-way decent? Something that isn't going to embarass you in 10 years when your children and 40 years when your grandchildren want to see your tatoo and hear the story? "Well kids, I was a total idiot and decided to auction off a body part to a company that went belly up two years later. However, since it was a real tatoo, for the rest of my life people get to know just how stupid I really am." 10,000 sperm and this was the one that made it.

My personal vote for the Darwin award.

This moment of stupidity was brought to you by eBAY and the number 1.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I'm Such a Girl

Remember the boy, D, I told you about from NYE? Well, I called him last night and left him a voicemail. Remember, I am totally money for having waited that long.

Tonight as I was getting a pedicure I missed a call. Guess who it was. Yep, Mr. D himself. Among other things in the message he said, "I was hoping you would call." Tee hee! I'm such a girl. Maybe Glib won't be the only one getting couch time soon.

This moment of girliness was brought to you by the letter G and the number 2006.

Speedy Gonzalez

Well, I'm off to El Paso, Texas this Friday. Heading to another alcohol-induced debaucherous weekend. That's right, heading to Tex-Mex Intercourse 6. Going to be a nice 4 day trip. Unfortunately, we're heading out at 6:30am on Friday morning which will be a bit painful. However, that means we're there before noon which means yours truly will be poolside with a beverage in hand by noon. Awwwwwww yeah! Catholic School Girl outfit Friday night, a little trip to Mexico on Saturday, leather party Saturday night...should be a good weekend! Note to self - even when drunk, purchasing a giant-ass sombrero is a BAD idea.

Another friend who is going made the interesting New Year's Resolution to not have bad sex this year. Now here's me thinking that should ALWAYS be a New Year's Resolution. However, for her that means no drunk sex with strangers. We'll see if she can hold true to that this weekend.

Stories forthcoming. Remember, what happens at the hash...stays on the internet.

This prelude was brought to you by the letter T and the number 4.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Auspicious Beginnings?

I was back in the Bay Area for amateur night. That's New Year's Eve to the rest of the world. I thought it was a sure sign of age when I wasn't up for doing anything crazy. All I really wanted to do was hang out with some friends, drink a few beverages and hang out in a hot tub. Pretty simple.

There were several invites I had to choose from that night. Yeah, I'm that popular. Ok, not really, but work with me here. Ended up going out to a friend's house in Martinez. She's a hasher as well as a Ren Faire person. She had offered crash space so making the drive was no big thing.

It was a nice evening. Alcohol was flowing, we watched some South Park, drank some more, sang some karaoke, drank some more, ate some food, drank some more, watched the ball drop, drank some more, sang again, etc. There were about 10 of us and it was a fun crew. Some people went to sleep not long after midnight. The rest of us kept going til around 3am. Then we crashed out on couches, floors, extra rooms, etc. There was this guy D there who I'd been chatting with quite a bit through the evening. Pretty cool cat. Turned into a drunken punken, but still pretty cool. He ended up crashing next to me on the living room floor while another guy crashed on the couch in there. I was all cozy under my blankets and more than ready for sleep.

Next thing I know D was kissing me, which I have to say was nice. It's been a while since I've had a good makeout session. Several minutes into it I was struck by the thought - I am WAY too old to be making out on a living room floor with other people sleeping near us. Reminded me of my trip to Ireland a few years ago where I realized I was WAY too old to be making out in a car with someone. Kind of put a damper on the festivities. Anyway, he was sweet. At one point he'd gotten up to do something and when he came back he immediately went into spooning mode. It was nice. At some point I finally fell asleep and was out.

By the time I woke up, D had apparently already woken up and was pretty green around the gills. He lived about a mile away so just went home to be sick there instead of at someone else's house. I felt badly for the guy, but no biggie that I didn't get to say goodbye. Sometimes it's just easier that way, you know? Man, I really should be a guy.

I wrote my friend this week with a belated thank you for the party. She wrote back that she had found a note the next morning for me from D including his phone number and did I want it? She also said it didn't bother her if I did. Well, unbeknownst to me, apparently she and D had dated several years ago. It was a mutual decision to break up and they have remained good friends ever since. So now I feel like the asshole because I had no idea. There's a code about these things! We chatted about it and she is totally cool with me calling him. So now I have to figure out if I want to.

If I do decide to call him, I figure having waited this long makes me totally money. Vince Vaughn would be proud!

So where this whole thing was going is originally I wasn't so sure that my random makeout session was such an auspicious beginning to the new year. I'm really not looking to have another year of random snogging. Then my friend J put it in a different light when she thought it was a fabulous beginning to the new year and could only be a sign of things to come. Choose to be positive I always say (yeah, right) so I'm hoping it's a great sign of things to come. We'll see how this weekend at Tex-Mex goes.

This random makeout session was brought to you by the letter D and the number 1.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Hell of a Game

I know it's about a week old now, but I just have to brag a bit. In Marquette's debut in the Big East conference, we played UCONN who is (was) ranked number 2. Perhaps I should say we "played" UCONN. I think a more accurate description is we "took UCONN to school!"

You can read the story here. Way to go Marquette!! Well done!

New Year's Resolution

I thought this was too funny not to post. Wow, two postings in one day. What is the world coming to?



In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Become one with my inner sociopath.



Get your resolution here


Home Again, Home Again

As most folks do around the holidays, I headed back home to Kansas City, Missouri. My brother, his wife (who rocks!) and their baby girl live back there now. I flew out on Christmas Eve and returned that Friday. I was a bit confused by the logic of Midwest Airlines to only have two agents working on Christmas Eve to check people in. I arrived at the airport at 10:20am for an 11:40am flight. It was 11:25 when I finally checked my bags and got a boarding pass. Then we got to wait again at Security. Actually, I must admit I was rather impressed with security. They had all lines going. Then again, the bar had been set pretty low that morning after the Midwest Airlines fiasco so my being impressed with security doesn't really say anything.

My brother and favorite uncle picked me up at the airport. Turns out my in-laws were already in town from Wichita. It sounds so strange to me to call them my in-laws. However, since L is my sis-in-law, I guess her family constitutes in-laws as well. Her dad J is an absolute doll. I love that man! Her two younger brothers D and A also rock. Really cool guys. Her mom, P, in small doses is great. She has moments of being wonderful. Then the rest of the time she has a way of driving you crazy. It doesn't bother me as much as it does my brother, but I don't have to deal with it as frequently either. P's mom was also in town. I believe the term my mother would have used for that woman is "shit disturber." She loves interpreting facts her own way and making up stories just to get a reaction. J's mom, unfortunately, was not there. That woman is a hoot! She's 84 which you would never know by looking at her, spunky and hilarious. I wish she had been able to join us.

Anyway, I won't bore you with the details of my trip home. Suffice it to say it was just really nice. It was a great week with my family and my little niece who is too cute for words. This trip was one of the most relaxing trips I've had home. Not that I got a lot of sleep, but it was just comfortable. It was nice not to have to deal with anything work related or any of the day-to-day drama that seems to exist in my life right now. Being around folks who know you, being able to completely be yourself, being able to call people on their BS and them laughing about it because they know you are right - all that adds up to a wonderful trip. We watched movies, played Scrabble, Boggle, Cribbage and Poker and just hung out with each other.

I did get to catch up with some old friends as well. My buddy CW recently got married and had a baby. It was great to meet his wife and his beautiful daughter. Also got to meet 2 of the 3 boys his wife had from her first marriage. Really cute boys. Then I caught up with my friend SH. We've been friends since we were 8 years old. She's got married a couple years ago and now has twin girls who will be 1 in February. I hadn't had a chance to meet the girls yet so was able to spend a bit of time with them. That was really nice. Also got to see some old horsey folks Christmas night and then do lunch with them later in the week. All in all a good week to catch up with people.

Man has my niece ruined me for any other kids. Bella was walking at 9 months and started talking at 10 months. SH's girls are 10 months and not even pulling themselves up yet. I know that every kid develops differently, but my little niece set the bar way too high! Oh, and she finally figured out a shortened version of my name to say. That is the coolest thing ever! My brother called me a few days after I got back in town to say she had been yelling my name all morning. How great is that?!

This moment of nostalgia was brought to you by the letter B and the number 13.