Kids In the Hall

My life is officially a Kids In The Hall song. You know your life is sad when it becomes a Kids In The Hall song!

Some of you may recall the guy from Ren Faire I had a total crush on about a year ago. We hung out a few times, he borrowed some bookes of mine, I borrowed some DVDs of his, etc. After we fizzled I tried for ages to trade stuff with him. It never ever happened (which is highly annoying). I thought about it last night and decided to call him today.

Got into work around 7:15am. Waited til about 8:30am and called him. I was pleasantly surprised at the warm reception on the other end of the phone. After chatting a bit I said, "Hey, I was cleaning my house the other day and came across your DVDs, which means you still have my books. We should trade." He had no idea what I was talking about. I listed the books and he still had no idea what I was talking about. The conversation went something like this:

David: When did you give these to me?
BH: The first time you came up to my house.
David: I've never been to your house. Are you sure you have the right David?
BH: Dave from Ren Faire?
David: Yes.
BH: Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the right one.
David: David D****? From Faire? Curly dark hair?
BH: SHIT! I have the wrong David.

Ok, so I'm an asshole! Mea culpa. After excusing myself and generally feeling like a jackass, I call the real David I was trying to reach. We chatted a bit and then I did the same routine with trading stuff. He got my address so he could send me them and I got his. You can bet your life I'm not putting them in the mail until I get my stuff! Besides, I still have to copy those DVDs. :-) Anyway, as he was getting his computer to get my address we made small talk.

BH: So, what's new? How's life?
(the real) David: Crazy. Busy. Good.
BH: What have you been up to?
(the real) David: Well, going to be having a baby in June.

(editorial note) Nothing quite like dropping that bomb on someone you fooled around with.

BH: Wow! Congrats! Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
(the real) David: It's a girl.
BH: Very cool. So, you getting married too, or just the kid?
(the real) David: Nah, not yet. Maybe sometime in the future.
BH: Alright, good luck with that.

And then we went on with our business. My God, what is my life turning into? Oh wait, I know...A Kids In The Hall song! "Daves I Know"

Lyrics can be found here if you are interested.

A plea to all future parents out there - please, Please, PLEASE stop naming your kids Dave! The straight women of the world will be eternally grateful.

This moment of assholeness was brought to you by the letter A and the number 2.