Why is it?

Why is it the simplest lessons have been the hardest for me to learn thus far?

For instance:

1. I am always 100% me. Even when trying to emulate someone else, that is still 100% me.
2. Everything is a choice. Even when I've thought I've had none, it's always a choice. Even when I have mistakenly believed that I can't find stability/settle down and maintain my freedom. I've chosen that balance point to be too far on the freedom side, mistakenly believing that I can't have both or that there is no balance.

Man, I'm a slow learner! But now I choose to learn these things more quickly. ;-)

The above knowledge is terrifying, yet liberating. I like it. I'm trying to make a game of it really.

I was thinking about this tonight while watching the soft twilight over the harbour. Felt a heavy weight on my face and lower jaw, almost pulling me down to the ground. Also felt a big weight on my neck and torso and base of skull. I simply tried to thank them for what they had done and that I was grateful for their help, but now I was choosing to move forward without them. Had quite a few of those weird "vertigo" moments, but seem to feel a lot lighter now. Certainly hope all this is shifting the way I think it is!!

Anyway, here's to learning lessons far more easily in the future.

This moment of wonder was brought to you by the letter L and the number 2.

1 Pound!

I am currently one measly pound away from having lost 60. That will be a massive milestone for me! Sure, I want to lose a lot more, but 60lbs will be one heck of an achievement. I've been holding out for this for about a month now. Fingers crossed it happens soon!

This moment of suspense is brought to you by the letter P and the number 1.

Tonight's Dinner

You know, sometimes I am one hell of a cook. Special thanks to my brother for the tips on preparing the venison. It was one tasty dinner!

You may say too rare. I say just right!

This moment of tasty goodness was brought to you by the letter V and the number 1.

Feeling Good

This past week I finally dropped below my lowest weight on the juice fast. Sure, it was only by 0.7lbs, but it was still below! I was stoked. Today was another weigh-in day. I was a bit nervous because a) I'd been to a KC style bbq restaurant the day before and gorged on meat, glorious meat; b) it's that time of the month and c) I didn't get a lot of exercise in the past few days. I was pleasantly surprised to find I was only back up to my lowest weight on the juice fast. Pretty good I think.

I'm really enjoying my eating program. Eating mainly fruits and veggies (fruit only in the mornings), no grains, and then once every 2-3 days having a bit of protein and cheese. It's working. It's easy to follow. I like it. I picked up some venison at the farmer's market on Sunday. Looking forward to grilling that tomorrow night. I'm loving that spring is finally here and the days are getting warmer.

One of the guys at work today was incredibly sweet and made a special trip downstairs to bring me a piece of his son's birthday cake. I was on a conference call, but had to tell him while I appreciated his kindness, I don't eat grains anymore and couldn't eat the cake. After my call I went up to chat with him. He's one of the guys I normally bake cookies for. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't offended at all, but of course, being the great guy he is, he wasn't fussed at all. It was great to be able to laugh and joke. He was amazed I have the willpower to bake for others and not eat any of it. To be honest, it just doesn't even sound good anymore.

Well, that's really all the news that is fit to print. Hope everyone's juicing journey is going well!

This update was brought to you by the letter M and the number 2.

Ups and Downs

Since I've returned to eating, things have been a bit up and down. After a week of eating solids I had a weekend in Sydney. It was fabulous, but I didn't have much control over what I was eating. We went to a friend of my friends' for dinner one night. She had made pizza. I wasn't going to not eat it since it had been cooked for me. There has to be some flexibility in all this. I did the best I could, but there was lots of stuff that was off my eating plan.

When I got back I hopped on the scale on that Monday morning. I was up 7lbs from my lowest at the end of the juice fast. I got back on the TurboCharged plan and started losing about a pound a day. I got down to being only 1.9lbs above my lowest point. Things were going really well. I was following my plan of only fruits and veggies and then once every 2-3 days having a bit of protein. Then I blew it this weekend. I ate way too much cheese and meat - like I used to in the old days. Stepped on the scale this morning and was up 4.5lbs from my lowest point. Back on the eating plan again. Sometimes I guess I just have to learn the hard way.

Today I decided to water fast because I just felt so horrible. I didn't sleep well. I wasn't even hungry until almost noon. I just felt like absolute rubbish because of what I had eaten over the weekend. I made it until the end of the day. Then despite the massive quantities of water I had, I was still hungry. So I decided to eat.

Tonight I made sea spaghetti for dinner. Yes, you read that right, sea spaghetti. It was delicious and packed with nutrients! You can read details about it and its nutritional value here: http://www.sirova.com/article_sea_spaghetti_introduction I paired it with a tomato and basil sauce. It is awesome that it is grain free and totally healthy. Check it out!

Back on the eating wagon now. No more cheating - it is so easy to see the results on the scale when I do and I don't. It's not worth it to cheat.

This moment of hard lessons is brought to you by the letter C and the number 7.

Photos

Can't believe I am actually posting these out there for the world to see. However, so many of you have asked for them, I thought I must. Top left is the starting point. Below that is mid-way. To the right was as of Day 60.

It really wasn't until I went back and looked at those original photos that I truly realised just how big I had become. I knew I had gotten pretty big, but I think we're really good at fooling ourselves. So, so grateful to not be that size and to know I now have the will power to never be that size again!

I'm not really good at photoshop and putting all these together into one set, but you get the idea.

Anyway, I give you le results...

And one with clothes:

This moment of deep breathing was brought to you by the letter J and the number 57.2.

Post Juice Fast World

Well, I did it. I made it the 60 days. It was an incredible journey. I've now entered the weaning back onto solids phase. Total weight lost after this 60 day journey and a weekend of weaning back onto solids: 57.2lbs/26kgs.

Thursday night, the night of day 60, I soaked about 8-10 prunes in water overnight. The next day I drank a glass of the water that had been used for soaking. It tasted really sweet. I had that in addition to continuing to juice. Felt good with no side effects. That night I drove up to Bulls to spend the weekend with some good friends. Luckily, the people whose house we were staying in had a juicer so I didn't have to pack mine.

Saturday morning I made a vegetable soup in the slow cooker and put it on low to cook all day. Through in all sorts of veggies and different seasonings. I made my juices in the morning. We spent the afternoon at the beach which was awesome. We went for a nice walk in the dunes. My friends then had a bbq and I drank my juice. Learned how to surf cast. That night we put some pork roasts on the grill, the boys filleted the fish and I had my first bowl of just broth. Oh sweet Jesus, that tasted good! I had a second bowl of just broth later that night.

Sunday morning I had a proper bowl of soup with the veggies that were well cooked for breakfast. Chewing has never been so good! I was a little paranoid about biting my cheek since it had been so long, but it was all good. Stopped by the farmers' market on the way home and stocked up on veggies. Made some roasted veggies with parsnips, kumara, broccoli, cauliflower, onion, garlic and lots of different seasoning. Also made pumpkin soup. Had a few of the roasted veggies late in the afternoon and then later a bowl of the soup. Everything tasted heavenly!

It doesn't take much to fill the stomach these days. Need to be sure I keep it that way. Now that I'm eating again, it's going to be a matter of portion control. Plus, it just tastes so good to eat I need to make sure I listen to my body. I also plan on continuing to juice once or twice per day, though I didn't have any on Sunday.

It was awesome to have such positive reinforcement from my friends this weekend. They hadn't seen me since our trip to Africa in May. To have lost so much weight in such a short time has been fantastic. Everyone was so happy for me and just blown away. It felt really good. I was looking through the photos from our weekend and it's so nice to see myself at such a smaller size. More please! :-)

Looking forward to the next challenge of continuing to lose more whilst eating again.

This moment of celebration was brought to you by the letter J and the number 60.