Matchmaking 101

This one is for Glib. I have found you the perfect man...or at least a similar contestant to those you have dated in the past. Be sure and invite me to your wedding!

http://slo.craigslist.org/m4w/114520028.html

Looking for a woman that can hang with me during the day, and swoop about Gothem in black leather and hardware from dusk till dawn. Ability to navigate tall buildings in two bounds or less a must. Prefer a self starter with inate radar or at least store bought GPS skills. If you have successfully circumnavigated the biohazards encountered in the central coast dating scene, and you are tired of sucking on fruit and small insects, it might be time you ventured into my psychosis.

I enjoy a good high speed near miss with solid objects, crusading about town in tight spandex (anything that accentuates and draws attention to my bits and pieces), accessorizing with "bat" themed items, living a double life, restoration of classic 60's Batmobiles, and dabbling in obviously gay sidekicks.

If you are ready to experience the superhero that lurks just below the surface of your persona, and you just need help with the zipper at the nape of your beautiful neck, let me lend you a hand. I believe we can feed off one another for a lifetime of bliss. I can restrain myself to a few pints. Can you??
this is in or around The Batcave

The Invitation

This was passed on to me years ago by my good buddy CW. I decided to share it with a (somewhat) larger audience. It is dedicated to a couple friends who could use it right now and also seems to fit my mood of late.

The Invitation

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (an Indian elder)


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what
you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will
risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure
of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to
know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have
been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without
moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can
dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want
to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you
can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I
want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every
day, and if you can source your life from God's presence. I want to
know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on
the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you
have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and
despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to
know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not
shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I
want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls
away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you
truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

My Random Thought

Yesterday I had a very random thought in the shower.

If someone attempts suicide and doesn't succeed, should they be charged with attempted murder?

Don't ask me where that thought came from. It just sort of appeared.

I suppose it depends on how murder is defined. Is it defined as the killing of ANOTHER human being, or the killing of A human being? According to wikipedia (yes, I'm embarrassed to even list this as a source), it is "the crime of a human being causing the death of another human being..." Therefore, I guess they shouldn't be charged with attempted murder.

On the other hand, Dictionary.com lists it as: To kill (another human) unlawfully.
To kill brutally or inhumanly. Well, throwing yourself from a building seems pretty brutal to me. Then again, what do I know?

Ok, enough of the morbid random thought. I just dunno.

This was brought to you by the letter M and the number 1.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Well, this has been a sweet week for me when it comes to concerts. Saturday my good buddy P from England rang and asked if I was a Rolling Stones fan. I said, "A bit." He then asked if I wanted to go to the concert Sunday night at PacBell Park. I asked how much tickets were and he said, "Free." I said, "Sold!" Suddenly, a weekend that had started out crappy (several plans got cancelled) was looking up!

Friday night I just sat and watched some movies. Also practiced spinning poi. Saturday I was incredibly domestic and did laundry, cleaned my room (kinda), etc. My low back started acting up around noon - right when my chiropractor leaves for the day. It's all about timing. That night I drove down to Fremont for a girls' night out at The Saddle Rack. It was surprisingly fun. I figured dancing might help loosen up my lower back. Not so much, but it wasn't terrible. Got home around 3:30am. Sunday played volleyball in Golden Gate Park. It was an absolutely GORGEOUS day! Minus a few people's attitudes it was good fun. Probably didn't help my back at all. Then it was off to shower and change for the show.

I've never seen the Rolling Stones live before. Though I like some of their stuff, a lot of it is so overplayed it just doesn't do much for me. I've never been willing to pay their ticket prices, though I have always wanted to see them because I hear they put on a good show.

Do they ever! Man I was impressed! If I hadn't seen it myself I wouldn't have believed it. Mick was running all around the stage, bouncing, dancing, etc for 2 straight hours. The man has to be 65. He has more energy than all the people that read this blog combined! We had great seats - lower level, just slightly off center.

They do need to do away with the jumbo screen though. Well, maybe not the jumbo screen, just the closeups of the guys. They are not aging well! You can see the jumbo screen below. Sorry for the crappy quality.




Someone please tell me how Keith Richards is even still alive. That man should be studied by science because I'm rather certain it's a miracle he still exists. The stage setup was kinda cool, though the photos won't do it justice. They even have one smaller "island" that moves through the crowd and ends up at the far end of the ballfield. Pretty cool!! They were nice and close to us then. As I said, the photos here don't do it justice. Note to self, buy a new digital camera so you're not dependent on the phone camera.




They played some of the new stuff which is...new stuff. Toward the end they ended up playing a bunch of their hits which rocked! They only did one encore which was surprising. Well, maybe not considering they didn't have oxygen tanks off to the side of the stage to puff on between songs. Still, with 40+ years of music, you've got a lot of songs to choose from for another encore!

Metallica was the opening band. Now, if it were about 15 or so years ago, I'd be super stoked to Metallica. As it was, they were ok. I have no clue about any of their new stuff. They also played a "hit block" at the end of their show which was great. That was the Metallica I knew - Unforgiven, Enter Sandman, etc. That was the stuff I used to hear on the radio or see on MTV. Yes, I'm old enough that I remember when MTV actually played music videos. Anyway, the songs I knew were great. The remaining songs made me feel like my parents when I said they were mostly just noise. Maybe I just have a hard time respecting a metal band that decided to go clean-cut.

Here are some decent Stones photos for you:

The SFGATE review is here.


Anyway, well worth seeing the Stones before they die! If you get a chance, I definitely recommend it.

Oh, and any other cool friends that want to give me free tickets to concerts - you know how to reach me! ;-)

This week of music was brought to you by the letters R and P and the number 2

Locking Lips

Ok, I lied. THIS is the last one. Promise. Cross my heart. I swear I'm shutting off my computer after this. This one was just so good I couldn't resist.

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Now Where Did I Put My Keys?

I obviously have way too much time on my hands. Apologies in advance.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Ok, I've got issues when it says I'd be forced to break up with someone who is sarcastic. Are you kidding me? I'm one of the most sarcastic people out there! Who am I to knock that in anyone else? Of course, it would occasionally have to be funny sarcasm. :-)

Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

Who knew there were three dimensions to luck and power? Someone has too much time on their hands! Note that doesn't stop me from taking the damn thing.

You Are Internal - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled internally. If you want something, you make it happen. You don't wait around for things to go your way. You value your independence and don't like others to have control. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

You Can Call Me The Dude

Sweet! I'm loving it.

According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:

Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson!

Poi Oh Poi

I had my first poi spinning class last night at the Temple of Poi (of course!). It was absolutely amazing! After reviewing all the basics of poi and the different elements we would be exploring, it was time for us to start learning. We only worked on spinning with one hand. Of course you have to use the weaker hand because otherwise it would be far too easy and instill a false sense of accomplishment. That meant using the left as all 6 of us are right-handed. MB don't even try and pretend both your hands are strong because it requires two! Sorry, I digress.

We learned four different moves which were fairly complicated. Well, at least they are complicated for someone who has never spun poi before and who is using her weak hand to do so. Managed to avoid knocking myself out, though definitely hit myself with the poi several times. God bless beanbag poi! I noticed I do so much better when I'm not trying to overthink it. When I just let things flow I did pretty well. It's going to definitely require a lot of practice. I found the whole experience delightfully frustrating - sort of like flirting with someone you can't do anything with. It's fun, but frustrating.

It's definitely going to be a few months before I get to spin fire, but y'all better watch out when I do! I can't wait! It's nice to be so excited about learning something new again.

If you want to check it out you can find it here.

This was brought to you by the letter P and the number 1.

Where The Streets Have No Name

The Bay Area is typically a great place for music. Always tons of shows, some fantastic venues, etc. This week has been especially true - Paul McCartney (ok, not a huge fan but he's big), U2 and then the Stones next week. Pretty cool stuff.

Tuesday my buddy (let's call him The Russian) instant messaged me and asked if I was working late Wed night. I said no and he mentioned he had an extra ticket to the U2 concert at the Colliseum. When I asked how much he said, "$180, but don't worry about it. Just buy me a few beers there." Who was I to turn down such an offer?

Now, those of you who know me, know how much I love this band. I have even been fortunate to hang out with them twice (the second time they remembered me from 5 years earlier). They have a special place in my heart. But that's another story for another time.

The Russian had never seen them live before. Our seats were pretty amazing even though we were off to the side of the stage. I've seen these guys probably 3 or 4 other times before last night. Last night's show was just incredible! Probably one of the best ones I have ever seen. Though it was still visually appealing, it wasn't over the top like some of the past tours have been. They played a fantastic mix of the new and the old. Bono even toned down his politics a bit so he wasn't acting like quite the Messiah he sometimes does. Being there with someone who had never seen them before and seeing the excitement and energy U2 was able to create in him was pretty spectacular.

Good music to me has always been music that speaks to you. Songs that move you. Lyrics you can relate to. You hear the song and you say, "yes, this person knows what I am talking about" or "I've been in the same situation." U2 has always been that for me. No matter what mood I'm in or what I'm going through, they have a song for it. It's great to be able to have that kind of experience live. As they started Sunday Bloody Sunday Bono said, "This is your song now America." Gave me goosebumps. When he dedicated "Miracle Drug" to the doctors, nurses and researchers searching for a cure for cancer or they played "Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own" and dedicated it to his dad who died, yeah, it made me misty. You can't honestly tell me that "With or Without You" (along w/ some Depeche Mode songs like Blue Dress) isn't one of the most erotic songs out there. Who has found what they are looking for? This band has always had that effect on me and as long as they do, I will remain a fan.

Amazing show, amazing band. If you ever get the chance to see them it's worth shelling out the money. Only four hours of sleep made my 6:15am spin class painful and I'm not sure how I will survive my first poi class tonight, but it's well worth it!

Some photos from the show via my cell phone (which explains the garbage quality).












This musical rant was brought to you by the letter U and the number 2.

Oh the Irony

Yesterday we had a special election in California. It didn't feel very special, but that's another story. In addition to the state propositions, we also had some local ones. One of those was Proposition H which read:

Shall the City ban the manufacture, distribution, sale and transfer of firearms and ammunition within San Francisco, and ban City residents from possessing handguns within San Francisco?

In true San Francisco fashion, this proposition passed. I can't even begin to tell you how angry this makes me. I grew up with guns. My family hunted, my dad used to take me skeet and trap shooting or to the pistol range. Hell, we even loaded our own shotgun shells in the basement. Yes, we had guns in the house. No, they were never loaded. From Day 1 we were taught firearm safety and were also taught that if we EVER touched them when our parents weren't around our hides would be so tanned they wouldn't ever be white again. Last time I checked, the second amendment gives me the right to bear arms. Suddenly the liberal masses in SF have decided that I no longer have that right.

The part I find ironic is that everyone in this town is up in arms about Proposition 73 which read:
WAITING PERIOD AND PARENTAL NOTIFICATION BEFORE TERMINATION OF MINOR'S PREGNANCY.
Everyone in this town lives in fear of losing their right to choose to kill an unborn child. So basically it can be summed up (granted, in extremely simple terms) as: It's ok for me to kill an unborn child, but it's not okay for me to have a handgun in my possession. Someone please explain to me exactly how that one works because frankly, I just don't get it.

This moment of frustration was brought to you by the letter L and the number 1000.

On Down the Drain

What is it with odd stories involving toilets these days? Here's the latest and greatest: Read here or you can read below.

Alleged outhouse spy gets fine only

NORTH CONWAY, N.H. — A Maine man arrested for peering at a teenage girl at a rest-stop outhouse pleaded no contest to criminal trespass, and a judge urged him to seek help for whatever drove him to climb into the waste-filled toilet. Gary J. Moody was given a 30-day sentence that will be suspended if he maintains good behavior for two years.

In exchange for his plea, disorderly conduct charges against Moody will be dropped, as well, if he stays out of trouble.

Moody, 45, of Pittston, Maine, was arrested on June 26 after a 14-year-old girl reported hearing a noise and then seeing a face looking up at her from the pit toilet on U.S. Forest Service property in Albany.

District Court Judge Pamela Albee cited Moody's public humiliation in choosing not to send him to jail.

"This gentleman has been subject to a great deal of media scrutiny and drawn to himself, should I say, notoriety. And a healthy share of bathroom humor, if you will.

"This is a person who deserves some compassion," she said.

She also fined Moody $1,000 and ordered him to pay $700 restitution. The Forest Service spent $700 pumping out the toilet tank because Moody claimed he was trying to retrieve a wedding ring that had dropped into the toilet.

The waste from the tank was pumped through a screen but no ring was found.

Moody was on probation in Maine after being convicted of operating under the influence in June 2004.

Moody, who declined to comment after Monday's trial, is due in court in Maine on Nov. 8 to answer charges of violating terms of his probation by leaving the state and committing a new crime.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm having flashbacks to Trainspotting. This guy claims he was trying to retrieve a wedding ring. Having never been married, I'm not fully qualified to comment. However, I believe I'd rather have my husband purchase a new ring than lower himself into a toilet to try and find it. Or, since the park was willing to pump it out anyway, why not just talk to the park rangers instead and have them do that? Yes, I know, it was his crappy (pun slightly intended) cover story, but come on, you can do better than that!

Now let's get to the judge - "This is a man who deserves compassion." No lady, actually, he doesn't. He's a man who needs some serious help if he's willing to sit at the bottom of an outhouse for a quick glimpse at some girl's privates. I've heard of golden showers, but this is ridiculous. Yuck!

This was brought to you by the letter P and the number 13.

Say Cheese!

After spending the night at Red White & Blue Beach in Santa Cruz Saturday night, some friends and I drove back to SF along Hwy 1. It was a beautiful day (well, until we hit 92 anyway) - the sun was shining, the gulls were "singing" and the surf was pounding.

As we wound our way up some of the cliffs, we noticed a car pulled off to the side of the road. A young couple was out of their car. One naturally assumed they were enjoying the view of the ocean. However, upon closer look we found they were not. They were dancing with each other surrounded by the beauty of nature.

How great is that? That's not even one of those things where you can roll your eyes or make some snide comment. It was just awesome. Definitely put a smile on my face for the rest of the drive. Whoever they are...I hope when they are 65 they still enjoy each other, and nature, that much.

This cheesy moment was brought to you by the letter C and the number 2.

This One Goes Out to "Anonymous"

I love people that don't have the balls to actually put their name on rude comments. They just swoop by someone's blog, leave a ridiculous comment under the safety of anonymity and move on to do the same to another person.

With that in mind, somehow this seemed appropriate. Yes, I know it's not PC, but I also know it's hilarious. I dedicate the below to Anonymous from the last posting:



Why can't I have an Anonymous like Glib Gal? OMG, I've got Anonymous-envy! It's a sad, sad day.

This was brought to you by the letter A the number 1.

Anybody Want a Peanut?

You know how sometimes you have good friends, but eventually you lose touch? People move, people get busy, etc. I love it when you have a chance to reconnect with those folks!! It's great to be able to get back in touch and catch up on each other's life.

I recently rediscovered my Peanut! Not only that, she has a blog!! Yea Peanut!

Peanut and I were roomies our sophomore year in college. She is one of the coolest girls I have ever known. She introduced me to ska music along w/ a lot of other things and opened up a whole new world to me throughout our years together. This is one amazing woman who is even more amazing for the fact that she doesn't even realize it. My sister from another mother. I miss you girl and the ability to hang out with you. Glad we're back in touch!

Just thought I'd share with everyone else because I'm excited and y'all have nothing better to do with your time than read my blog. Plus, maybe one day you too can be fortunate enough to meet this fantastic woman.

This was brought to you by the letter P and the number 6.

Sue Happy

Courtesy of yahoo! News:

Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

BOULDER, Colo. - Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.

Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."

The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.

Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.

The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and as they wheeled the "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.

The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.

"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so I understand that the guy was embarassed and it would be a bit humiliating. However, do you REALLY feel the need to sue over this? Are my tax dollars really going to pay for crap (no pun intended) like this? And we wonder why there's never enough money in the budgets. I know, the next time I get embarassed by something I'm going to sue whoever it was for emotional distress. When did pranks stop being funny? For the love of God people, take a joke! Don't waste other people's time and money on trivial things when we should be busy taking care of the people who commit crimes.

I don't get it.

This was brought to you by the letter F and the number 50.

Fire! FIRE!

Fire is cool! (said in my best Beevis/Butthead voice)

Have y'all seen the fire spinners? Huge thing at Burning Man, but comes from the Maori culture. I saw some folks doing it live this past Saturday night and think it is just amazing! Thought it would be cool if I could so something like that. Therefore, I just signed up for Poi lessons starting next Thursday. It's 6 weeks every Thursday for 80 minutes. No, we don't start with fire which is probably a really good thing since I'd end up burning myself alive. Instead we start out with practice poi which I think have bags of sand or something at the end. The description on the website said they leave smaller bruises than the tennis ball ones. Yeah, that's comforting!

Anyway, I'm pretty excited about it and can't wait to try it! Assuming I'm coordinated enough, it's pretty cool to think one day I'll be able to spin fire.

Good stuff!

This was brought to you by the letter F and the number 6.