*sigh* When Is It My Turn?

Warning - short rant/pity-party about to ensue:

I am so tired of meeting men who I like and who like me, but are emotionally unavailable or unwilling to do anything about it!!! Why do you pursue if you're not a point in your life where you can do anything about it? I don't randomly sleep with people so it's obviously not for sex. What is it about me that causes this to happen over and over again?

Why does it have to happen when I am finally at a point in my life where I am willing to let someone in? Let me tell you, that doesn't happen often. So I finally reach that point and think I have the opportunity with someone only to find out he's in no place in his life right now to do anything.

When do I get to meet someone I like, who likes me and is willing and able to do something about it?

When is it my turn?

How do I prevent myself from closing off again and just merrily move on down the line?

I need some bandaids!

The Return of the Stalker

I have a stalker. I posted something on my blog about it ages ago. In fact, for anyone wanting to read the story, I'll put it at the end of this one.

Haven't heard from my own private stalker in quite some time. This morning my phone rang and it was a 951 number. Now that I'm working in LA, I figured it was one of my clients calling me at 8am. Turns out it was my stalker. Man, talk about not knowing how to back peddle out of that one when in a room full of people! Why is it folks don't get it when you are perfectly frank with them and tell them that it's never going to happen and they need to stop calling you? He generally calls once a month, but doesn't leave a message. Now this. ARGH! How do you get rid of someone when being brutally honest doesn't work?

Anyway, just needed to vent. Original story below from Dec 21st:

Private Stalker

It seems I have my own private stalker these days. Those of you who keep up with this blog will remember that I sometimes work Renaissance Faire. I can't remember whether I blogged about any of those adventures or not. In case I didn't, or to refresh your memory if I did, the final weekend of Northern Faire (mid-October) was interesting. Friday night I drove down to Casa de Fruta with BJ to meet up with PF. We did dinner at Casa de Food (like I could make up that name?!). While we were there PF introduced me to this guy Spanky (his faire name). Apparently he is in massage school and needs to practice on folks to get hours. She had gotten a massage from him and liked it so I figured what the hell? When we got back to our camp I went up to his camp for the massage.

He was pretty good. Certainly not the best massage I've ever had, but far from the worst. It was a lot better before his ego got out of control and he was touting his own work and how good it was, but such is life. At some point during the massage the girl who he was sharing a tent with wanted to go to sleep. The air mattress was in the same section of the tent as the massage table, but it was cool so she just laid down and went to sleep. After the massage Spanky and I were hanging out chatting outside the tent. He got my number for future massage. No worries. We went over to visit the horses used in the joust at which point he kissed me. I pointed out the fact that he had a girl in his tent to which he replied it was nothing serious. She had said the same thing earlier in the night. It'd been a while since I'd made out with anyone so I decided what the heck and we snogged for a bit. He tried to get me to share the tent with them, but I declined. Nice try buddy. I'm not here to fulfill your threesome fantasy.

We saw each other a bit the rest of the weekend, but I'd moved beyond my being horny stage so was over it. Figured that would be the end of it. Little did I know.

The guy is STILL calling me. I was polite at first and would return his messages. Our schedules never coordinated so we didn't ever actually talk. I figured when it became clear that we were never actually going to talk to each other it would be over. Never mind the fact that he lives down in Riverside! And the fact it would take me ages to get back to him. But no. He still freaking calls me. I've even left a message along the lines of, "Hey mate, it was fun and all, but I'm not interested." He still doesn't get it. It'd finally been a few weeks since I'd heard from him so I thought I was finally safe.

Sunday night I was checking my phone and who do I have a message from? You guessed it. This one, however, was priceless. "...I've been thinking a lot about why I didn't kick that other chick out of the tent that night. Well, I wanted to ask you when we actually spoke to each other, but since that doesn't seem to happen here goes. I was wondering if you want to spend a weekend in Vegas with me? I've got hotel reservations, tickets to the shows, I'll pay for everything. You don't have to do anything except show up. It'd be great to spend the weekend with you. Let me know."

I had to pull over to the side of the road I was laughing so hard. Does this guy actually think that after one evening - hell, not even an evening! - 30 minutes of making out I'm going to go away for a weekend with him? Could someone please help me build that bridge between those two events because I've tried, and I really can't. It'd be one thing if we had been dating, but we're not. We haven't even spoken in two months. Oh people entertain me! I guess it would be wrong to ask if I could go on the trip and bring someone else instead. Kidding! (about asking, not about it being wrong)

Any of you ladies out there want an all-expense paid trip to Vegas? I can guarantee you having a guy cater to your every whim and follow you around like a little puppy dog. Hell, he'll even call you for months after. Any takers?

Man, sometimes remaining single is a good thing!

This stalking moment was brought to you by the letter S and the number 1.

Iguana's Recap

Had a fabulous trip to Hood River! Unfortunately didn't have a chance to ring Dee when I was there. Sorry babe!

Flew up at the crack of dawn on Friday. Had a little nap in baggage claim while waiting for another hasher to fly in who I was riding with to Hood River. She finally arrived and we were on our way. Took the scenic route and saw some gorgeous waterfalls. Turns out we were actually staying in Bingen, WA at an old school that had been turned into a hostel. After getting settled I took a nice little nap. We had a pub crawl that night where we terrorized Hood River. Good times!

Saturday morning we all hung out. Around noon was butt painting (an Iguanas tradition). Basically everyone gets assigned two letters and they get sharpied onto your ass and then we take photos spelling out various things. Hmmm...maybe that's one of those things you have to be there for. Anyway, that afternoon we did trail. The trail started in the town of Dee by the old mill. The first half sucked. It wasn't marked well and just wasn't a good trail. The second half kicked ass! We ended up practically repelling down a steep hill to the river. We then had to hook into a rope and swim across the river. Can you say cold? Yes you can. But fun! Then we did tons of bouldering and going back into the river, up and down, etc.

You know how you discover your balance as a kid by falling? Well, since I've put on all the weight I don't really know where my balance is anymore. And, as an adult, you know it hurts to fall so that doesn't really work. I loved the second half of the trail because it was nice for me to realize that "muscle memory" really does exist. I could just go my own pace and ended up taking lots of steps I didn't think I could so it was awesome! Good stuff.

Anyway, we finally hiked up out of the river and were rewarded with three amazing views as we continued on trail. The first was where two rivers came together and formed one. The second was an amazing waterfall. The third was looking up the gorge with a snow-covered Mt. Hood in the background. Absolutely stunning!

That night did dinner and headed back to the hotel around 11. Felt really ill and thought I was going to hurl. Finally did when I got back to the hostel. Note this was not from drinking as I'd had like one beer after the trail and the rest was diet coke. Went to bed at midnight, woke up at 2 and threw up, woke up at 4 and threw up, woke up at 6 and choked it down. Panty Free woke me up at 8 as we were to go white water rafting at 9am. I told her I didn't think I could go. She was a hero and ran out and got me some gatorade. That did the trick! Turns out I had just horribly dehydrated myself on trail and that's why I was throwing up. Oops!

The gatorade saved my life and I managed to go rafting on the White Salmon river. It was amazing! I love rafting! River was really moving and the Class 4s were pretty sweet. At the end I hopped out of the raft and floated alongside until the takeout point. Did I mention this river is glacier-fed? Brrrr! Talk about letting you know that you are alive! Stunning day!

Back to the hostel, packed and off to the airport. Arrived in Oakland at 9pm. Got home around 10:30 while on the phone since TB called. Unpacked and repacked while on the phone. Finally hung up and got to bed at midnight. Up at 3:45 to make a 6am flight out of SFO to LAX for work. Was absolutely useless on Monday! Not much better yesterday. Finally starting to feel human today. Can't wait to fly home tomorrow night and sleep in my own bed, before heading off to Tahoe Friday afternoon!

Well, there you have it. Hope everyone had a great weekend! I'll write more about my week, but I'm a bit cranky right now so don't want to be too negative. :-)

Off to the Iguanas

I fly off to an Iguana Hash House Harriers weekend tomorrow morning at 6:35am. Ouch! Should be worth it though. Flying into Portland and heading to Hood River. Pub Crawl Friday night, run on Saturday and then white water rafting on Sunday. My liver hurts in anticipation!

Fly back at 8:30pm Sunday night and then have to catch a 6am flight Monday morning to head to LA for work. Ugh. That part's really gonna suck. Think I'm packing two bags tonight - one for this weekend and one for next week. :-)

I Broke the Cardinal Rule

Every Tuesday, a group of folks get together for some beverages at various locations around SF that have an outside patio. Always a good time. This week they were going to Nap's. I was pretty stoked because you can bring your own food to cook to this place and we were going to have some grilled goodness.

I had called the Tahoe Boy (TB for short) earlier in the day at work to see if he was going to be home that night so we could chat. He said I must have been psychic because he was going to call me that day. We agreed I'd call him at 8 last night. Perfect. We can have a little chat and then meet up with everyone at 9:30.

Best laid plans. We got off the phone at 1:10am. Yes, that's right. Over a 5 hour phone conversation. Wtf? I'm pretty sure I've never had a phone conversation that long. Obviously didn't make the Tuesday night event. In the grand scheme of things it's no biggie as these folks do it every week. However, I still broke the cardinal rule of never dissing friends for a boy.

I am in SO much trouble with TB. I am in way over my head. Remember that rugby match I told you about Monday night and drinking with the Irish team? Well, one of the coaches totally wanted to hook up with me. Normally I'd be like, "Cute Irish rugby player wants to makeout with me? Hell yes!" Instead, I had no interest whatsoever because he wasn't TB. I've NEVER done that before. Never has liking someone prevented me from making out with someone else unless commitment was involved.

We really are ridiculous. Even saying "I miss you" on the phone. I've turned into one of those girls that I mock. In a week and a half I'm going back up to Tahoe to spend the weekend with him. Someone please save me from this madness!!! I'm on a runaway train powered by a blond haired, green-eyed, 6-packed, hip-line-thingy (you girls know what I mean), sweetheart speciman of a man. Ack!

This moment of ridiculousness was brought to you by the letters L,U,S and T and the number 1.

Ahhh The Irish

My friends were still in town from this weekend. They had flown in for the Churchilll Cup Rugby Match Saturday at Santa Clara University. It was the Irish vs the New Zealand Maoris. Absolutely gorgeous day. The Maoris kicked ass. Was really good to run into some rugby friends I hadn't seen in years and enjoy the sunshine. Man, this entire weekend has been drinking. My liver hurts!

We went to a rugby match last night on Treasure Island. It was the Olympic Club vs a touring side from Ireland. Cork Constitution RFC to be exact.

Ended up partying with the Irish team after at the R Bar. Good times, good times. The girls had to be up at 6 to head to the airport. We got to sleep about 4am. Man am I tired today!!! I just can't hang like I used to. The bad news - the Irish are here until Friday. I somehow see trouble ahead!

This fatigued moment was brought to you by the letter I and the number 3.

Where In the World is BH?

Ok, it's been ages since I've posted anything of note so figured I'd catch everyone up on the happenings in the world of BH. Just call me Carmen Sandiego.

After a fabulous birthday celebration courtesy of Kristine and company, I made it home around 10am the next morning. Just in time to do a quick change and pick up my brother, sis-in-law and 18 month old niece at the airport. We had a fabulous week together. My brother helped me put together my bookshelves which was great. We spent the weekend with old family friends (who may as well be extended family) up in Woodland. Weekend was full of good food, good fun and great company. Even played a bit of tennis. I haven't touched a racquet since I was 16 so it was entertaining to say the least. Got me back into it though and really want to start playing again.

My brother and his wife (who is a complete doll and I love to death) traditionally come out over my bday. We have a tradition that started with my mom of doing my bday dinner at Scomas in Sausalito. We've managed to keep that tradition alive and always do a toast to mom whom we know is there in spirit. We went there the final night of their visit. Isabella was the star of the show as she always is because she's so darn cute.

I took them to the airport that Wednesday. Though I totally enjoyed their visit, I was ready for a little BH-time after they left. There are only so many days in a row you can wake up before dawn to your little niece calling, "Anna? Anna?" The only person in the world I'm willing to let call me Anna! (Ok, that makes more sense for those of you who know my real name) :-)

I had a couple days at home and then headed to Valhalla Ren Faire. Panty Free and I drove up Friday afternoon. Met up with BoyChaos, Diter and company. Nothing like being greeted with a 20 year old bottle of scotch. Thanks Chris! We hung out a bit that night and then crashed out. Got to work an ale stand for the first time ever which was way too much fun!! Absolutely loved it! Met so many great folks. It was really fun to meet a bunch of folks from Tribe like Shay, Nate, Arn, Angus, Parris and her sister Samara, etc. Too much fun! Saturday night a group of folks went to Naked Fish Sushi which was awesome! Good eats! Then we had this grand plan of rumtubbing. The bad news was we couldn't find a hot tub for the tubbing part. Ended up hanging out with my new favorite bookend sisters, PF and Bogus. Eventually headed back to faire and hung out with the jugglers for a bit. Finally called it a night.

Sunday...well, Sunday is a whole other story that I may save for another time. Still pretty new and exciting so I'm going to have to digest it a bit before I decide how much to share with you lot. ;-) It is making me quite the girl which is ridiculous, but fun. I'm sure I'll share soon.

Will also post the details of my past weekend shortly. Figured this was turning into a novella so I'd stop now.

This catch-up moment was brought to you by the letters C and S and the number 3.

I Am Such a Girl

I was going to post something about the telephone being the bane of woman's existence. I do still believe that is true. For some unknown reason we are the ones that sit and wait for it to ring. We have all this technology today and yet we communicate even less. I'm not sure what is worse - waiting for the phone to ring or waiting in the old days for a letter to be delivered.

However, since mine finally rang I'm happy again. Looks like I will be heading back up to Tahoe in a couple weeks to visit a certain someone. Woohoo!

Man, it sucks being one of those girls I usually make fun of. :-)

This moment of self-depracation was brought to you by the letter A and the number 1.

Holy Crap

So much to write, so little brain function to allow it to occur. Updates coming soon!