The Art of Seduction

And now for something completely different.

Wanna know more about how BH works? Here you go!











This seduction was brought to you by the letters BH (for me), E (for ecstasy) and O (figure it out) and the number 69.

Ok. That's Enough! Just STOP it People!!! I've Had It!!!

I just learned that yet another friend was recently diagnosed with untreatable cancer.

Just quit it! I'm done! No more! Make it stop!

I know that death is a part of life. I know it's inevitable. But I'm tired. I've had enough in my 29 years. Selfishly - I feel I've had more than my fair share. I watch myself type that and know how horrible it is to even think that when I have been blessed by not growing up in war-torn area or a place where every single day you worry about survival. Yet, it's still the way I feel right now.

I feel like I should warn all of you that it's a curse to know me and be my friend. Save yourselves now! Overly dramatic? Yes. How I feel right about now? Yes.

When does it end?

This moment of melodramatic sadness was brought to you by the letter D and the number Way Too F*cking Many!!!!

So Far So Good

About a month ago I told you all about starting my very own 'Project Goddess' and getting myself healthy. I haven't stepped on a scale since and won't until my birthday. However, I did some quick measurements earlier this week as I was sewing. Every measurement is down 1/2-3/4" from where it was a month ago. Sure, it's not much, but it's a start! Woohoo! I haven't really noticed any difference in my clothes, but I do notice it in my face when I look in the mirror. Plus my energy is way up and I just feel better. People have made some comments that I seem to be "getting smaller". This weekend someone said they can totally tell a difference in my face with my cheekbones and my jaw is firmer. That was pretty nice to hear.

Thank you to all who have been so supportive. Please don't stop - I need all the help I can get!

Oh, and Glib - I think the girls are safe. It seems when I do lose weight it's everywhere except there!

This moment of satisfaction was brought to you by the letter W and the number 10.

Word for the weekend - Interesting

Wow, what a weekend! It was opening weekend for Dickens Fair. I missed Friday as I was flying back from Kansas City that evening. Carol was kind enough to pick me up at the airport and we were straight to the Bovine Castle to some final prep for Saturday. Back to the Bovine Castle Saturday morning to throw some kegs and get the ale stands squared away. Got to play most of the day which was wonderful. After clean-up that night we played some poker (ended up ahead) and got to bed way too late. Sunday was back again for some more keg throwing. Did my first Dark Garden window with Danielle which was fabulous! She totally helped keep me calm and walked me through it. People seemed to enjoy it, though I got many complaints that they could never get close enough to the window to take photos because there were too many folks standing there. I'll take that as a good thing. :-) Thanks Danielle! Then it was mostly playing the rest of the day until it was time to put the kegs away for the week. We were all pretty beat the time we left. Hopefully I can catch up on some sleep this week before doing it all again next weekend!

Despite all the fun, things are pretty turbulent these days. Lives are changing, relationships are changing and I find myself constantly looking at the world through new eyes. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it breaks my heart. Some things I wish I could control when I know deep down I just have to let events unfold the way they will as there's nothing I can do to influence them. Some people I wish I could help when I know the only solution is they need to help themselves. How does one distinguish between caring and the desire to help versus letting people find their own path? Always a challenge and I sometimes feel I should be further on that path than I am. I hope I'll get there eventually.

All in all - an interesting weekend. Interesting situations, interesting people and interesting propositions. What does the future hold? Only time will tell.

This moment of inadequate verbage was brought to you by the letter I and the number 3.

Home is Where the Hawk Is

I flew back to Kansas City for Thanksgiving. Spending it with my brother, his wife, their two kids and my favorite uncle. Lisa's family will be coming in for Thanksgiving as well so we're going to have 14 people I think. Busy household that luckily is full of love.

While running errands today I travelled on some old familiar paths. The thing I loved about growing up here is that even though we were technically in the city, we were on the outskirts. There is so much open land around here filled with grass and trees. On my drive I counted 10 different giant hawks sitting on trees or posts, enjoying the sun and surveying their domain. It always brings a smile to my face. I miss that. Sure, there are some in California, just none where I usually am. I miss being able to see a minimum of 5 hawks on any drive I take. I miss being able to appreciate their beauty and long for their freedom. As a child I wanted to come back as a hawk or an eagle. I think I still do. Despite any family dynamics (which have been mostly good), it makes me happy to be here. Trips down memory lane can be wonderful.

This random moment was brought to you by the letter H and the number 5.

After the Rain

Last night as I drove home from poker it was raining. It was one of those cleansing rains that is pleasant to drive in. There's nothing like falling asleep to the sound of raindrops bouncing off the roof and the ground outside a slightly open window. I woke up this morning, put on some workout clothes and stepped outside to hit the gym.

The world always smells so fresh and clean after the rain. It's like the world, and you, have been given a second chance...a fresh start. I love that smell. It reminds me of all the possibilities life has to offer. It reminds me to be grateful for another day, another opportunity to see the beauty around me, another chance to change who I am on the inside to contribute to the beauty in the world. The rain helps wash away all the negatives in life and you are left with a clean slate and a fresh start.

Life is good. I feel so much better now that I am working out consistently and eating better. There is so much in my life to be grateful for. Mornings like this always help remind me of just how good life is.

Yay for rain! Yay for fresh starts!

This "hippy moment" has been brought to you by the letter R and the number 1.

Mooning About

Last night I had my first poi class in quite some time. We're doing a performance in Union Square and had our first choreography practice for it. As usual, I was rushing about and got out of work late. I was running to try and not be late. I hopped in my car and turned out my client site toward the bay. I hit the brakes and stopped dead in my tracks.

A site quite like the photo above greeted me. A clear sky, an almost full moon just rising above the water, it's reflection gently rippling in the waves. Simply stunning. I heard myself say, "Wow! WOW!" outloud. My next exclamation (also outloud) - "Thank you!" Thank you to the God(dess) for making such a stunning site. Thank you for letting me be alive to see it. Thank you for reminding me of all the beauty that exists around me that I tend to overlook as I let the stress of the day take over. Thank you for putting things in perspective.

I think I need to notice more often. Maybe next time with a bottle of wine and a beach.

Anyone care to join me?

This moment of nature appreciation was brought to you by the letter M and the number 10.