Candle Wisdom

After a long weekend filled with birthday festivities, I took a nice relaxing bath this evening. I finished the current book I was reading while in there and had a candle going the entire time. This was a candle that was given to me by a friend last year that is supposed to bring wisdom or at least open you up to the wisdom of the world. Not being much of a hippy myself, I smile because I think it's a nice concept, but let's be honest here...a candle bringing wisdom?

As I emptied the bath, stood and began towling off, I tried to blow out the candle. Granted, I was far away, but had a couple failed attempts. The flame would flicker and then come back even stronger. As I was about to mock myself for having poor lung capacity, a different thought popped into my head.

This candle flame was just like my own inner flame. I've spent many years trying to extinguish my own flame, not necessarily conciously, but attempting none the less. I realized, despite all my efforts, that it isn't possible. This flame can't be extinguished. It's like God's love for me. It's like my angel's love for me. It's like my love for myself is supposed to be.

Despite all my efforts, my inner flame can't and won't be extinguished. It's going to continue to come back stronger than ever and it's high time I just accept that and let it shine. Why waste my breath and effort on something that won't happen and something that I ultimately don't want to happen?

Yes, a new leaf is being turned over and the outlook is bright. Burn on flame, burn on.

Oh, don't worry, I did eventually blow out the candle flame after thanking my angel for inspiring the thought - I liked it.

This hippy moment was brought to you by the letter A and the number 31.

Birthday Saturday!

Well folks, it's that time of year again. My birthday is coming up on Saturday. When I have more time I'm going to have to post some reflections from this past year. It's been one hell of a ride. Now? Now I think I'm going to have a hot bath and a glass of wine. Yep, that sounds mighty fine right now.

This moment of antici............pation was brought to you by the letter B and the number 31.

Back Under the Knife...or Laser

Went back to my ENT today as I'm still snoring. Not like before, but definitely still there. Have an appointment tomorrow to take a few more millimeters off the top of the palate. They like to be conservative because if they take too much off, milk will then be coming out my noise instead of going down my throat. As attractive as that is, I think I'll pass. The good news is that the pain with this procedure is considerably less than the initial surgery. Excellent news considering the first one was painful, but totally bearable.

Think good thoughts tomorrow afternoon please.

In other news, did a lot of dancing this past weekend. Saturday night was Stompy Jones' 10th Anniversary party at Verdi. Had a lot of fun. Sunday I went to Lindy in the Park. It was a gorgeous day and got some good dancing in. Back at Verdi tonight for anyone who is interested.

Started the culling process for my big move. Yikes! More to do than I thought. It will all get done, though. It has to.

Had another good session with my "healer" yesterday and got a couple new meditations to try. Good stuff. The road is long and hard, but it's nice to be able to look back and see how far I have come. I actually like me now and am learning to love me too. It's a nice change.

Other than that, just gearing up for my birthday Memorial Day weekend. Woohoo!

That's all the news that's fit to print.

This news was brought to you by the letter A and the number 30.

Love

I have been reading "Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal". If you haven't read it, definitely check it out. It is laugh out loud funny. In fact, I had to stop reading it on the plane because I was laughing so hard and people kept looking at me.

Anyway, the other day I came across this little beauty:

"Compassion is the same way...That's what the yeti knew. He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift."

Let me repeat - Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell.

I think I choose to dwell in that state from now on.

This moment of thought was brought to you by the letter B and the number 2.