Miserably Sick

Ugh. Woke up yesterday feeling like garbage. Pretty sure I had a fever all day. Went home and was in bed at 8pm. Was out until 11pm. Then woke up hourly until around 10am. Called in sick at 6:30am. Was up for an hour and then slept again from 11-2. I can barely move off my couch at this point. Fever, achey, congested, rattling couch that racks my chest....I'm one miserable bunny. Make the bad man stop!

This moment of misery was brought to you by the letter S and the number 1.

Good Start To The Day?

ome of you know that work has been really ... draining recently. I'm not doing a good job managing my stress. I've been too tired to workout (yes, trust me, I know the vicious cycle). Generally I've been falling down, down, down in regards to my job. Well, let me clarify. I'm still doing a good job, it just doesn't seem to matter to the senior management in my company on this project. My client loves me, but anytime they praise me to these guys, it goes in one ear and out the other. I had a wonderful weekend last weekend with Danielle, Lee and all the other fine women at the Goddess Weekend. I finally relaxed and things were wonderful. Monday afternoon I had a meeting with the guys from my company and instantly was a little stress ball again.

Last night I was lucky enough to spend some time with Momma Berry after a really tough day. She is always exactly what I need exactly when I need it. I love that woman! Plus, Daniel was kind enough to send me a sweet note when he had no idea how much I needed one.

I'm working from home this morning because I have a 10:45 appointment at the post office to renew my passport. I can't do it by mail because mine is damaged. Once I get the new one I can send it back to NZ and they can put my residency visa in it. Woohoo!

So, since I was at home this morning I decided to go for a bike ride. Now, I haven't been on my bike in pretty close to 3 years. Poor Smurfette has just been sitting there lonely. In January I took her into Sports Basement to get a tune up because I figured if I wanted to ride again, I should really get her checked out considering how long it has been. Got her back and again she's just been hanging out. This morning I decided to hop on and go for a ride. It's a gorgeous morning (though boy did my hands get cold!) and I headed off through Golden Gate Park and down along Great Highway. Things were going swimmingly and I thought to myself, "Wow, what a great way to start the day!"

Finally decided to turn around and head back home considering this was the first ride I'd done in some time. Side note - I think my spin classes helped save me from being too saddle sore. So, I head down this little path, turn around and start heading back up. As soon as I apply any significant pressure to my peddles, my chain pops off and I go down. What the heck? Now, normally I wouldn't share something embarassing like a fall off my bike with you. However, I realize we all need a little entertainment in our lives, so far be it from me to not share. I pick up my bike and look at it and start putting the chain back on. Then I realize what had really happened - my rear wheel had come off the frame!!!! Now, it is totally my fault for not doing a safety check before I headed out. However, I guess I assumed that since I had just gotten it back from the shop and hadn't done a thing to it, it would be in good working order. I'm going to be ringing my buddy at Sports Basement today to give him some good natured harassment. I got everything fixed and finished my ride. It just ended up being more exciting than I had imagined. I had to laugh as I wondered if this really was such a good start to the day.

It felt great to exercise again and to get some fresh air and sunshine. More please!

This moment of entertainment was brought to you by the letter B and the number 1.

Has It Really Been 6 Years?

Today is hard.

This day will always be hard.

This day is as hard as Christmas and I'm amazed how hard Christmas still is 12 years later.

I woke up this morning and had a nice little cry session in the shower. I can't believe it's been six years since mom died. Sometimes it's like yesterday. Sometimes it seems like six years. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed at just how much I miss her. I want to be able to call her and pick her brain. I want to be able to call her when I'm sick. I want to be able to call her when I hear something funny I know she'd like. Sure, I still talk to her. It's just not the same. When it comes down to it, I want my mommy.

I'm not sure why I keep expecting this to get easier. It just doesn't. Especially not on a holiday where you are bombarded by people in love and have to witness the "pissing contest" that goes on of everyone receiving flowers at the office.

I feel there's so much to say and yet absolutely nothing I can say. I guess I'll finish with the following poem:

God saw she was getting tired
and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around her
and whispered, "Come with me."

With tear-filled eyes we watched her
suffer and fade away.
Although we loved her deeply,
we could not make her stay.

A Golden heart stopped beating,
hard-working hands put to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best

This moment of melancholy was brought to you by the letter M and the number 6.

Distressing

I talked with my uncle for over an hour this weekend and he mentioned he was short of breath and I told him to call his pulmonologist.

Just received the following email from my brother about my uncle:
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BH,

Wanted to let you know that UJ went to his pulmonologist yesterday b/c of his breathing problems you and I talked to him about this weekend. His oxygen level was 74%, obviously very low. Pulmonologist thought the problem is not from his lungs, speculating it's from his heart. Sent him to hospital right away and he was admitted at 6 or 7 last night.

Hasn't seen the cardiologist yet today, so in waiting mode for now. He must feel pretty weak b/c he apparently isn't giving anyone a hard time so far. They've got him on oxygen and his saturation level is still only 80%.

I haven't talked to him yet. The number in his room is (sorry, y'all really don't want to know).

Will keep you posted as I learn more...

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This moment of concern was brought to you by the letter O and the number 74.

Going Home

Just bought a ticket to go home March 29th-Apr 2nd. I'm really excited to see my nieces and my brother and sis-in-law again. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I didn't spend Christmas at home. It's been on my mind to go recently and I found a round trip ticket for $258. Woohoo! I get to see my nieces again. Plus, I get to go visit my horse! Woohoo! This has lifted my spirits more than I can express in words.

This moment of joy was brought to you by the letter H and the number 4.

Back Pain

Really sucks. I've refrained from blogging because I really don't like whining. At this point, I'm rather tired of it though.

Sunday I played volleyball and then watched the Super Bowl. While watching the game I could feel it tightening up. Monday was okay. Tuesday was hardly bearable. That night I went home and spent a lot of time with ice packs. Chris was kind enough to give me some 800mg Motrin which I was also taking. Saw my chiropractor on Wednesday morning. He said, "Come back again and see me on Monday. In the meantime, everything is really inflamed in there. No sitting on soft chairs, no couches, no sitting for long periods of time. Stand as much as you can." I said - you just described my job. So I've been continuing to take the Motrin, stand as much as possible during meetings, when no one is around lay on the floor and try and relax things.

Every time I start to think it's getting better it starts tweaking again. All the muscles in my back right now just feel really tired - there's no healing going on and they are just exhausted. I'm pretty tired of hurting right now. I'm not sleeping well and my brain certainly isn't functioning like it should be.

It'll pass, it will just take time. Patience is a virtue I do not possess.

This moment of self-pity was brought to you by the letter P and the number 5.

New Bloc Party CD

So, being the huge geek that I am, I pre-ordered the new Bloc Party album - A Weekend in the City. This is their sophomore release. It just arrived last night along with the 7" vinyl I get for pre-ordering. Had the CD in on my way to work today and have also been listening to it when not in meetings. It is so freaking good! I just love this album!

I can't wait to see them on March 17th. Woohoo!

This moment of enjoying new music was brought to you by the letters B and P and the number 2.

New Bloc Party CD

So, being the huge geek that I am, I pre-ordered the new Bloc Party album - A Weekend in the City. This is their sophomore release. It just arrived last night along with the 7" vinyl I get for pre-ordering. Had the CD in on my way to work today and have also been listening to it when not in meetings. It is so freaking good! I just love this album!

I can't wait to see them on March 17th. Woohoo!

This moment of enjoying new music was brought to you by the letters B and P and the number 2.