Has It Really Been 6 Years?

Today is hard.

This day will always be hard.

This day is as hard as Christmas and I'm amazed how hard Christmas still is 12 years later.

I woke up this morning and had a nice little cry session in the shower. I can't believe it's been six years since mom died. Sometimes it's like yesterday. Sometimes it seems like six years. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed at just how much I miss her. I want to be able to call her and pick her brain. I want to be able to call her when I'm sick. I want to be able to call her when I hear something funny I know she'd like. Sure, I still talk to her. It's just not the same. When it comes down to it, I want my mommy.

I'm not sure why I keep expecting this to get easier. It just doesn't. Especially not on a holiday where you are bombarded by people in love and have to witness the "pissing contest" that goes on of everyone receiving flowers at the office.

I feel there's so much to say and yet absolutely nothing I can say. I guess I'll finish with the following poem:

God saw she was getting tired
and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around her
and whispered, "Come with me."

With tear-filled eyes we watched her
suffer and fade away.
Although we loved her deeply,
we could not make her stay.

A Golden heart stopped beating,
hard-working hands put to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best

This moment of melancholy was brought to you by the letter M and the number 6.