I Want A Girl With a Short Skirt

And a long, long jacket.

This past weekend was H3SOB's annual miniskirt run. A crew from the Bay Area decided to head down and grace them with our presence. After work on Friday I had to head home and pack. Scrummy came by and picked me up. We had to make a pit stop at my client site as I was a moron and left my purse there. Drove down to Pismo where her folks have a condo. By the time we got there everyone else had arrived - GAS, Mr. Bone Jangles, Arabian Goggler, Escrowtum, Rarely Cums and Just Jeff (Scrummy's little brother).

Everyone else was well into their cups at that point. Stayed up way too late chatting and watching TV. Eventually sacked out. I somehow finagled a bed to myself so life was peachy. Saturday morning the freak crew decided to go run 10 miles. Thanks, I think I'll go back to sleep. Jeff made some kick ass coffee with Kaluha. When the freaks came back from running we went and grabbed a late breakfast at this really cool restaurant. Our waitress kicked ass and gave us a cool new toast. I think it's something along the lines of: "Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." We had a lot of bloody marys and mimosas. She had a good sense of humor and put up with our crap so we gave her a fat tip. Headed back to the condo, grabbed our stuff and hit the road.

Of course we were running late, but it's hash time so who cares? We headed to the hotel in Santa Barbara, checked in, changed and walked down to the first bar - The Study Hall. We got there about an hour late and everyone was still there. Unfortunately made it just in time to watch people try and compete on the stripper pole. I think I need to scrub my eyes in sand to get rid of those visuals. We eventually headed out on trail.

I'm of the opinion that when you are on a hash that requires some sort of costume or outfit, no one wants to run all that far. I know that wankers like Brownie will call me a wuss for that, but honestly...who wants to run 4+ miles in a freaking miniskirt? Not this kid. We were on trail forever, and finally decided to guerilla our own beer check. Stopped in the Wildcat and had several rounds. Goggler and GAS convinced Jeff he needed to do a Trinity shot. Poor kid. We even made their happy hour and got some free pizza which at that point was really nice. After a good hour plus, we then made our way back to the Study Hall. We were still the first to arrive. Hung out drinking and whatnot. Dinner was eventually served, but we were hungry so kept drinking. At one point I looked over at poor Jeff who was wasted and said, "Do you need to go back to the hotel to pass out?" He just looked at me, nodded his head, grabbed my hand and said, "Let's go." So I took him back to the hotel and put his little drunk ass to bed after convincing him that he really didn't want to sleep with me and would thank me (along with his sister) in the morning for not. Then I was back to the bar.

Colon-4-hire mentioned a Burning Man party so Scrummy and I headed over to that. It was definitely the highlight of the weekend. It was at a coffee shop that they had transformed with amazing decorations, kickass DJs and incredible performance art out back. At the hash there were tons of new folks I didn't know, but didn't seem to be able to meet many people. Within 10 minutes at the Burning Man party I had met probably 15 folks. I absolutely love this new community I've found!

We eventually started heading back to the hotel. We stopped at Fatburger to get some grub. Ended up meeting this random guy Eric who is friends with one of our dear Santa Barbara hashers BrrBrr. It was an entertaining hour or so chatting with him. Then we caught a cab back to the hotel to find that though our key worked, the door had been dead bolted by a couple hashers who went back early. That is SO not happening so we pounded on the door until they woke up and let us in. The new sleeping arrangements required Scrummy to go to the room next door and I shared a bed with her brother.

The next day we met up with the crew at Sharkeez and had some breakfast and mimosas/bloody marys. Then off to Pismo to clean up the condo. Scrummy and I eventually headed back to the City. All in all, not a bad weekend, but MAN am I tired! My 6:15am spin class this morning kicked my ass. I'm ready to sleep at my desk.

If you want to see photos, you can check out Panama's here. Pic's and Slimey's photos are here.

This miniskirt moment was brought to you by the letter M and the number 3.