What's In A Word?

Life has been pretty hectic this week. Work has been a bit mad. Tonight I actually have a bit of a break and so find myself in my hotel room with time to drink a beer and reflect. (Note this blog was started last week and it’s now over a week later)

Occasionally I take a break from work in the late evening to catch up on Tribe. The other day in one of my tribes, someone posed an interesting question. She asked, Why are you sexy/Why do you think you are sexy?

It was wonderful to see all the women write in, instantly knowing what it is that makes them sexy. The confidence that was demonstrated by answering what most would consider a rather simple question was quite impressive. I reflected on the question for a few minutes and finally wrote my response: “I don't think I am. As someone else said, not fishing for compliments. Just not how I view myself.”

The question has stuck with me these past few days. A few people were kind enough to write me and say that indeed they do think I am sexy. It was very kind of them to take the time to do so. However, it’s not how I see myself at all. It made me wonder – what’s in a word? How do we define things? How do we define ourselves?

There are numerous versions of dictionaries in the world. Words used to define words. A process innately flawed, yet unavoidable. Similar to life, or at least to being human. With all these definitions out there, why do they differ in our heads between applying them to someone else and applying them to ourselves? Why is it so difficult to see in ourselves what we so readily see in others?

I freely admit I am my own worst critic. I don’t think that puts me in an elite class. I’m rather certain most people are. Yet lately I seem to be surrounded by people who display such utter confidence and comfortableness (is that word?) in their skin and who they are. It’s definitely a positive thing as it causes me to reflect and makes me want to be that confident and comfortable. It also makes me wonder – is it just an act? If not, how does one go about becoming that person?

Now, I am well aware if there were a manual on getting there, several things would be true: 1. The author would be rich. 2. The world would be a better place. 3. I wouldn’t be sitting here with all these thoughts running around my head and boring my poor readers with them. So – anyone out there who fits the description, start writing, make your fortune, be sure to share some of the royalties with me and we’ll all go on our merry way.

Until publication, I’m left to my own musings which is always dangerous.

What defines being sexy? What defines being confident? What defines being comfortable? Despite the plethora of dictionaries out there, I’m sure we all have our own subjective definitions. I find it interesting (and frustrating) that those subjective definitions differ between applying them to someone else and to ourselves. Is it a result of how we were raised? Is it a result of societal pressures and “norms”? Are we afraid of displaying confidence because we’re afraid we will be viewed as conceited? Are we afraid of thinking we are sexy because we’ll be labeled a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore’ or any other variety of terms?

I have always believed that how you were raised only works as an excuse until you are 18-22. After that you (typically) are on your own and start making your own decisions. You sort out for yourself what is right, what is wrong, what is important, etc. Recently someone made the remark after something I had said, “You are so Catholic.” There are certain things that are so ingrained in who I am, the way I think, etc. that I don’t even recognize as part of the faith in which I was raised. I think he said it best when writing something recently – “Habits form the walls of our cages, and when we can't see the bars we don't ever try to escape.”

I can’t seem to bring this to a logical conclusion and could really muse on for pages and pages. Instead I think I’ll sign-off with this dear reader…it’s time to go break free of some cages!

This diatribe of uselessness was brought to you by the letter A and the number Infinity.