Hovering

Today, like every other day, I walked into the ladies room to answer the call of nature. Not that exciting of an event. Women don't have the fascination with pee and poo (particularly poo) that men do. We just go about our business and get on with life. We don't feel the urge to share the feats of our poo with our friends. We don't believe there will be some greater reward for having the world's largest or longest poo.

So, I enter the stall with my usual amount of confidence. Low and behold when I went into the stall, there was a site everyone hates to see. Oh sure, everyone hates to see someone else's logs floating in the bowl or someone's track marks, but this was different. There, splattered all over the seat, was the remains of someone's urine. Apparently someone hovered and had really bad aim.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a hoverer from years back. All those camping trips as a child came in handy! Public toilets - just say no to sitting. Even those little seat cover things don't do it for me in public restrooms. However, at client sites I generally deem it safe to use a seat cover. I see the janitorial staff in there daily ensuring things are kept tidy. Sure, I still hover at times. I guess my aim is just better than other women's. We all have our off days, but that's when you clean up your own mess. You don't leave it there for someone else to deal with. It's not like someone can put a seat cover down and be safe from it - that darn thing will just absorb it and then it's sitting against your skin. Ick! No one wants someone else's nastiness all over them. Well, excluding those freaks who are into that whole Golden Shower thing. Blegh. Vomitous.

Anyway, for the love of God people, please remember:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Please be neat and wipe the seat.

There now, isn't that better? The rest of the world thanks you.

This moment of toilet humor has been brought to you by the letter R and the number 10.