Everything's Bigger in Texas

Spent all last week at my uncle's lake house in Texas. He's on the Richmond-Chamberlain Resevoir. It's about 110 miles south-east of Dallas. We ended up having a mini-family reunion down there. My brother, his wife and daughter drove down from Kansas City. My cousin, his wife and two kids drove in from Denver. My other cousin flew in from Los Alamos. I didn't know he was coming, but it was great to see him again. So, essentially, from that side of the family we had all the folks we like. I know, it's wrong to say that, but some people just bring it on themselves. However, I won't bore you with the family dynamics.

I flew out Sat, Aug 6th from the San Jose airport. The night before I met up with some friends to grab some dinner and margaritas. We then saw The Dukes of Hazzard movie. I was pleasantly surprised - when you go in with no expectations whatsoever, it's actually pretty darn funny. I crashed with a friend down there who lives a couple exits from the airport. 4:45am came far too early. What was I thinking taking a 6:40am flight??? Particularly one where I had to connect through Minneapolis, which we all know is right on the way to Dallas. Oh right, that whole saving $150 thing. I really need to get over being cheap.

Anyway, get to the airport and it is a clusterfuck! I expected no one to be there that early on a Saturday morning. Apparently everyone else in the world had that same thought. It was a really interesting experience however. Normally security goes out of their way to let those who are about to miss flights go to the front of the line so they can make the plane. Not these little Asian ladies though. No no, "first come first serve. I don't care that you are about to miss a flight. You should have gotten here earlier." Never mind that people had been standing in the security line for literally 45 minutes. Now, I agree with them in principle. However, I also know that things go wrong and sometimes you're late. Or there were poor people who had gotten to the airport in plenty of time, but had been standing in the line so long they were about to miss a plane. Maybe San Jose security could figure it out and have more people working at that hour. I finally make it through security and think the fiasco is over. No no, no such luck. That would be FAR too easy.

I get to the gate and hand them my boarding pass. I had been lucky enough to get an exit row seat. She's not going to let me sit in the exit row because I have the air cast on my leg. Now, keep in mind that boarding this plane requires me to walk outside, walk up a steep flight of steps and walk to my seat. But somehow having this aircast is going to mean that I can't use my arms to open an exit door and be able to usher people out. When I tried to calmly explain this to the person at the gate, she didn't even listen to me and was trying to reseat me. When I stated that I didn't want to be reseated and that one of the reasons I had gotten the exit row was so I could have more legroom and be able to avoid having my ankle kicked by folks, she kept right on talking. I asked her how having an aircast on was going to prevent me from opening a door. She started rattling off that you can't have any children or handicapped people sitting in the exit row. I politely told her that I was not a child and was not handicapped, I just happened to have a brace on my leg. She wouldn't hear a word of it and was increasingly becoming rude. I asked her if I took the brace off if I could sit there. She said, "Fine, if you want to be an idiot, go ahead." I smiled sweetly and said, "I somehow doubt that in this situation, I am the one behaving like an idiot." So I took off my brace, grabbed my boarding pass back, went through the door, put my brace back on and boarded the plane. No one said a word.

We then had mechanical delays. Finally I got to Minneapolis and then had to schlepp for what seemed miles to get to my next gate. Since I can't run it makes things a bit hard. Finally got to my gate and walked right onto the plane. Had an exit seat again and funnily enough, no one said a word about it. What is it with people and their authority complexes? All I could picture was Cartman saying, "Respect my authori-tie!"

Anyway, I arrive in Dallas safe and sound. My brother and his family pick me up from DFW and we are on the road. It was so good to see my little niece again. I hadn't seen her since her baptism. She is gorgeous! She turned 9 months while we were down there. My sister-in-law is also fantastic. I'm not sure how my brother did so well, but he sure did! Anyway, drove to my uncle's lake house. My cousin from Los Alamos was already there. Great seeing him again and catching up with him. I think he's about to get divorced so that sucks. Then again, I think his wife is a stupid bitch so in the grand scheme of things, I'm not bothered. I just don't like to see him in pain. My other cousin and his fam arrived around midnight that night.

The whole week consisted of boating, water skiing for the non-injured, fishing, eating like a pig and playing cards - cribbage, poker, spades, hearts, shithead, you name it. It was great! Very relaxing. Weather ended up being okay. I had expected Africa-hot, but it rained a few days in the afternoon/evening so that helped coold things down. Monday night we smoked some Chateaubriand. Oh my God that was good! So rare and tender and juicy and melt in your mouth good! Tuesday morning half the crew went out with a couple fishing guides. The did really well. Wednesday morning my uncle, brother and I were going out with the guide. However, there was far too much lightening around so we planned it for the next day. I should have gone back to bed. Oh well, we just played all day instead. It cleared up and we went swimming...even my little niece who absolutely loves the water! That night we decided to go out fishing. I figured since I had bought the fishing license for that day, I better use it. Now there's a story!

Things start smoothly. We have yet another amazing meal and then decide to go out fishing before it gets dark. The crew is comprised of: Uncle Jack, my cousin Vinny, his two kids, my brother and my cousin Jimmy.

It's a beautiful evening as we set out. Vin wants to take us to one of the spots the guide had taken them yesterday morning. Off we go across the lake (this thing is huge by the way). About 15 minutes later we get to the spot and throw our slabs in the water. The wind begins to pick up, but not too badly. Vin is playing with the trolling motor on the front. Well, it's a nice tree farm on the bottom of this particular spot. First my brother gets hung up on a stump. He manages to break free. Then John and Kristina end up getting their lines tangled thanks to Vin's "expert" use of the trolling motor. I think my brother spent the rest of the time trying to get that mess sorted out. Kevin ends up getting hung up on my line (again, thanks to our trolling motor). After we sort that out I get hung up on a tree stump. I ask Vin to move us over in that direction so I can get free. About that time Kevin ends up with his line wrapped around the trolling motor. You can see where this is going. By the time they get that sorted, I've run out of line and the line snaps so I've got nothing left.

Now, during part of this time Vin had asked Jimmy to start the boat motor so he could help us out a bit while Vin sorted out the trolling motor. Well, turns out the old reliable gas gauge isn't so reliable. We're out of gas and can't get the motor going. So, what do you do when you're on a 15,000+ acre lake, it's getting dark and you've run out of gas? Well, you put the trolling motor in the water and try and make it to the nearest marina. We did end up pulling off that feat which was rather impressive. However, no lights are on in the store when we pull in. Luckily we managed to catch the guy before he left and we were able to fill up. The first nice break we've had. Well, second considering we did at least have a trolling motor. It's more than dark now and time to head home.

That ride that took us 15 minutes going out, took about 50 minutes going home. Turns out my uncle doesn't really go out at night and so didn't know where exactly he was on the lake. THere are tons of little coves (he lives in one) and they all look the same. Sort of like trying to find Trevie Fountain in some non-descript little piazza in Rome at night. Anyway, we eventually made it back in and that put an end to our night fishing trips.

The next morning Uncle Jack, John and I were up early again to go out with the guide. We did have a blast! Didn't hit our limit, but man those stripers can run when you've got them hooked. Caught some nice white bass. Uncle Jack caught a 12lb+ buffalo fish. Have you seen those things? They are prehistoric! Check it out:


Jimmy flew out that day which was a bummer. We all spent some time cleaning up Uncle Jack's house that afternoon - mowing, trimming, chopping wood, hammering, etc. Though it was hot, it was really nice to do some manual labor. I decided that I spend far too much time in front of a computer with my job and really need to take on some manual labor stuff to keep me sane. But I digress. Had another great meal that night, complete with homemade ice cream. Friday morning we packed our stuff and my brother and fam and I took off. Vin and family weren't leaving until Sunday. Made it back to San Jose safe and sound.

Was supposed to hang out with a "buddy" that night who lives in Campbell. I don't know what we are. He's on the snog list, but we don't see each other all that frequently. Anyway, called him that night, but never head back so I just headed back to the City. Good thing I didn't expect him to pick me up at the airport like we had originally discussed. Rat bastard. Oh well.

Saturday I caught up on my email since I didn't have access all week. Turns out I had won luxury box seats to the Dave Matthews Band concert at SBC Park...for Friday night. Guess I missed that one eh? Oops!

Anyway, great week with the fam. It was great having a chance to get away and just relax...even if I did miss MB's retirement party. Somehow I don't think he would have remembered had I been there anyway. :-)