Betty Ford Rehab Hash Recap

Holy crap, what a weekend! Thursday I started with conference calls at 6am. That was 6-12, meeting 12-2, 2-3 and 3-4. Headed out the door at 4:30 to get some errands accomplished before going home to pack and get waxed. It was a bit of a hectic evening and we didn't even start the waxing until after 10pm. Got to bed around 1am after throwing things into a suitcase. Was up at 8 to shower and head to the Milbrae BART station where Panty Free and I were leaving our cars for the weekend. PF was running late so I went ahead and hopped BART to SFO, got the Air Shuttle to the right terminal, checked in and headed on through security. By the time I hit the gate they were boarding. PF had just sent me a text message that the next train was in 5 minutes. I had a sneaking suspicion she wasn't going to be joining me on this flight. Turns out she ran like a madwoman and ended up checking bags AND making it through security in time for last call. Rock star! Mossy Patch was also on our same flight

We flew into Palm Springs, grabbed our bags and the three of us split a cab to the hash hotel. They managed to get our rooms ready in time so we were able to check-in and drop our stuff. PF and I had each gotten adjoining rooms. Bloeing Inc was flying in from Singapore and going to share with me. Snowball was coming in from Denver and going to stay with PF. Can you say party central? I thought you could. After grabbing some lunch we put one our swimsuits, loads of sunscreen and hit the pool. Ran into the boys there and got them into the rooms. Spent the rest of the afternoon lounging poolside and soaking up some sun. Got to catch up with tons of folks I hadn't seen in ages - Blow Ho, Max Lode, Manhole Muncher, Happy, the rest of the Santa Barbara crew, Xena, etc. Then it was time to put on our lingerie and head out the door for the lingerie "run". It was a great trail this year that consisted of a pre-lube gay bar and then two pubs on trail. Then we were straight to the party after. My kind of trail! SB, BI, PF and I all made a pit stop on the way at some Mexican restaurant and grabbed a bite to eat in our lingerie. People were entertained.

The Hash Band was playing that night. Ended up meeting some guy - Just Sean - who apparently isn't a hasher at all. He had seen us from his hotel room at the Hyatt, ordered a bathrobe from the hotel and tagged along to the end. Ingenius! He was a pretty cool cat and as it turns out actually lives in San Francisco and was just down for work. We ended up having a nice little makeout session. Around 1am he walked me back to the hotel, got my number and then I crashed out. Turns out I had the room to myself that night as apparently the drunk ones thought I was going to hook up with the guy and all stayed in the other room together. Too funny. Thoughtful, but funny. Around 6:30am BI knocks on the door and I roll out of bed to let him in. He and PF went on a food and gatorade run. SB and I ended up combining into one room and getting some more sleep until they came back. Yes, that means the drinking started at 7:30am. You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning!

Saturday consisted of lots of pool time. While some freaks went out on the actual run in 97 degree weather, those of us who are smart stayed poolside. We also gathered the Hash Wenches to practice our skit for the evening. We eventually walked over to the party. Here's where there was a bit of a communication breakdown. We thought we had 2 hours for dinner before the skits started. None of us were that interested in the food they were serving and SB wanted to go back and shower. So, the four of us headed back to the hotel and waited while he freshened up. We then went back and ate at a rather disappointing Italian place close to the venue. When we rolled back in the skits were almost finished and they had ended up cancelling ours since PF and I weren't there. We wouldn't have had time to get in our outfits before they ended so we were S.O.L.

It was sweet, actually. We had a number of people come up and tell us how disappointed they were that we didn't perform and that our skit was the only reason they even watch the skits. We were bummed too, but we'll just save it for North/South this year as it's a fabulous song!

Hung out at the venue with GlibGal, her bf, SB, BI, Max Lode, Scrummy and numerous others. We eventually decided to do a pub crawl. That turned into loads of entertainment. Man, talk about drunken pumpkins! I can't wait to see the photos. We were out until bar time and then finally stumbled back to the rooms. We were all pretty beat, but spent some time at the hot tub before calling it a night. Hit the sack around 3:30am. We were up again around 8am and the drinking started once again. The four of us had a mellow morning just drinking in our room and lounging on the bed. BI was a train wreck and passed out eventually. As any good hasher would, we used a small version of the P.O.K. (Pass Out Kit) on him. He now had a bright green sharpie 3rd eye and a mustache. People kept floating in and out of the room. We eventually headed to the pool where PF and I continued our white trash tradition of putting pool chairs in the kiddie pool and sitting there in the water getting some rays. BI woke up and came out to join us. In true BI fashion, he totally owned the third eye and mustache and had a field day playing it up. My cheeks hurt from laughter.

People eventually started heading out. We finally showered and headed to dinner around 7:30. The restaurant had a 45 minute wait so we sat in the bar and ordered some beverages and some appetizers. I had some iced tea and let me tell you, it was the most refreshing drink I had all weekend! After about an hour we got a table and had dinner. It was Scrummy, Escrowtum, Rarely Cums, PF, SB, BI and for a bit Tits Ahoy. As always, it was pure entertainment. We eventually headed back to the hotel (around 10pm) to pack our bags and order a cab for an early ride to the airport the next morning.

Ended up getting woken up by BI around 5am and helped the train wreck search for his wallet. After finding it (and several other things he had lost - except his dignity which somehow remained elusive) we hung out some more and then I had to get ready to go. The cab came at 6am so PF and I said our goodbyes to the boys and headed to the airport. Had a long day at work yesterday considering how tired I was. I think I was in bed at 9:30 last night. A few more nights of that and maybe I'll have a voice again soon! ;-)

All in all, a wonderful weekend. It was great to hang out with my boys again who I don't get to see nearly enough of. Once a year is absolutely not enough. The nice thing is I get loaded up with enough funny stories to last me until the next time I see them. I think we've all decided to meet up in Perth next year for Interhash. Consider this your warning Australia! Sunshine, pool, good friends, catching up with folks I hadn't seen in ages, learning interesting developments in friends' lives, bottomless adult beverages....what more could anyone ask?

Once people send me links to photos I'll try and share some. I didn't have a camera, but the boys did so there should be some good shots.

This moment of happy memories was brought to you by the letters BF and the number 21.